if can i have things my way PART 2

im gg to run to an island and stay there for the rest of my life.

maybe the one where they dumped jack sparrow in the 1st movie.

diesel sweeties

(i cant believe im reading comics online and posting some random comic during work.. tsk. its all xw's fault)

actually, in the 2nd box, the toaster turns into a robot/transformer thingy.

LOVE THE COMIC!

I F I K I S S E D Y O U

Written by Corrinne May Ying Foo
Copyright 2001, Corrmay Gourmet Music (ASCAP)

If I kissed you
Would fireworks fly
Would angels sing with lollipops
Would dinosaurs cry

Would babies all gurgle
in laughter and surprise
If I kissed you.

If I kissed you
What would Michaelangelo say
Would he still have sculpted David
Would we be immortalized in clay
Would the poets write of love like ours
Would John Donne have his say
If I kissed you

You could be one in a million
You could be the one for me
But l guess I'll never know if I never try
I guess I'll just have to grab you in my arms
and kiss you.

If I kissed you
Would you lose track of time
Would you feel a surge of happiness
Running up your spine
Would you run naked in the street
with a tattoo of my name on your behind
If I kissed you.

Oh, if I kissed you
Yeah, if I kissed you.

damn nice song.
and no, im not hinting to anyone.

if i can have my way,

im gg to lock the stupid security guard up.

asshole.

no.

i am not lying to myself.

i am not.

don'tdoubtme.

if theres one thing that nv fails to grab my attention..

it's soccer.

soccer well-played.
woohoooooo!

i love watching soccer.
and i love the guys playing soccer.
some anyway.
some random few.

spongebob squarepants.

on my way to work daily, i get damn irritated by the stupid advertisement for spongebob musical.
it actually has stupid kids in makeup SHAKING VIOLENTLY from side-to-side to the tuneless noise spongebob employs as its anthem/theme/song.

and today, i heard the most apt phrase for it.
during its advertisement.
it said "nautical nonsense".
and its an advertisement for spongebob.

well, i certainly can't fault it for its honesty mannnnn.

p.s. thanks seow. for letting me blog this down. you know how you helped.

kaka

this man is so worth my struggle to stay awake during work tmr..

swoon swoon.

idontfuckingknowwhatskeepingmeup.

the unexplainable.

so many things have no rationale, no reason, no explanation.

lk the disappointment that is welling up inside of me.

of epiphany.

we cry cos we were hurt.
we cry cos someone betrayed us.
we cry cos of the pain inflicted upon us.
we cry cos we were accused, maligned, cheated, misunderstood.....
we cry for us.

but i cry for you.
because what you do goes unrecognised.
because you are misunderstood.
because you are dear.

tell me...

how much must you like someone before that becomes love?

must it be reciprocated?
must it be forever?
must it be without expectations?

is there even love to begin with?

conversation.

me (to myself): i need a credit card.
bro: to buy the air tickets?
me: no? to shop online.
bro: WHAT! AND TO THINK I THOUGHT U WANTED TO BUY AIR TICKETS?! JUST TO SHOP ONLINE? *&^%$#

his reaction is too big mannnn.
and i really need a credit card to shop.
or maybe i shld just dig out someone's number (which i think is kept in msn history logs) to purchase those damn goods.

newspaper

i think its best not to read the newspapers.

it gives me depression each time i read it.

comments

im thoroughly convinced that having a compulsory module to have students learn abt patriotism and force them to love the country is the exact way to make the students hate the country (well, not that extreme, but u get wad i mean) for attempting to brainwash them. so japan, learn from...other countries.

learn that if you realise your citizens are smart enough,they'll realise the merits and advantages of your country instead of you having to brainwash them into soulless lil robots.

in any case, everytime i read the newspaper, i wanna comment on so many things.

lk early NS enlistment. for troubled kids? go NS? hello. i know army means discipline, but for troubled kids who do not even have a 'O' level cert, they are def gonna be doing nth in there, and then theres all that stupid hooligans/punks/morons who bring other morons to geylang and all that junk. and the troubled kids are probably that impressionable to get into trouble to begin with anyway, so whats not to stop them from having other vices.
so NO NO tapping in others' wireless. but YES to potential vices like prosituting and getting AIDS.

okay, its too early in the morning.
i need to rest.

=(

i feel lk kenny's dad.

and for everyone's sake (esp mine),
i hope no one figures out what that means.

shrug.

and what am i supposed to do?
why do i always manage to get myself into situations where im fucking stuck right in the middle?
im sorry the world operates like that.
im glad the Earth is dying.

austral-ass-ia.

im getting all angsty and troubled at this time of the night when i shld be settling down for bed.
pui.

i think i've had too much influx abt australia already.
im getting all pissed and irritated abt it.

i conclude...

... that my colleagues are really fun ppl. altho they're old (but not really that old), they are so much fun to be around. not in the crazy kinda way, but the chirpy kinda way. well, i guess its a good thing to be in a small department, cos everyone knows everyone else. it's quite a jolly thing to go to work, actually. surprisingly. i mean, i konw i whine a lot abt gg to work. its actually the fact that im not slping that is irritating. otherwise, im quite okay. im even happy trooping arnd in d morning. i just need to slp when i want to. and it obv doesn't help that i don't slp properly at night. ugh.

... that my family's quite fantastic. prob a bit different from others. okay, definitely different from your ideal, perfect family, but im happy (sometimes). different or dysfunctional. i choose different today. im in quite a good mood. heh. and i love the extended family too. not that they are perfect, again. but, they are so heart-warming. most of them, anyway. some shld just go roll into their lil corners n pretend that they don't exist.

... that my life isn't that bad. except that i wanna eat at astons now. i need a piece of meat to chomp on. and i wanna eat some nice, frothy cake. and i want ice cream. and bubble tea. and fish soup. and bak chor mee. and hokkien mee (this is angie's fault). and char kway teow.

... that my brisbane plan is finally finally falling into place. and i just had this fantastically hilarious blooper abt something. hahahahahaha... its okay! life's still good! its okay. i shall ignore that stupid bit of me. its not lk im d only one who thought that way ANYWAYYYYYY.

... that i wanna buy shoes. and dresses. and bags. and tops. and pants. and shorts. and maybe an entirely new wardrobe.

... that i just want to be able to slp well tonight.

i shall go make a call now!

inspirations

right now, i really feel like cooking. altho, i've never cooked in my entire life except for random bowls of maggi mee and frying eggs (WHICH I HAPPEN TO BE DAMN PROUD OF). in any case, angie's excitement for EVERY single meal she prepares is rubbing off me. her excitement usually makes me hungry. but tonight, i feel so domesticated. i actually feel like cooking as well. woooo! exciting. i shall dedicate one day to cooking after i leave the wretched place that has this impression that aircon is free. seriously, i wear 3 layers to work, and still feel damn cold. wth.

and i like the little observations i have in my daily conversations/communication/whatever. well, i like some of them anyway. not all, since some will def irk me. but hey, some make me smile. a bit too widely, but they really do make me smile. it's quite a funny thing, isn't it. to smile at a memory. if the memory is good, and the present is good, then all's good. but if the memory is superb, and the present is lk shit, then....well....common sense says that at this time, there will be sighs and tears and what-nots.

the hours i spent at work (tho admittedly better than some individuals. most individuals) gave me a chance to reflect. maybe it's the silence, or random bouts of it, that made me write. well, it'd not a bad way to start writing again. on notepads. maybe i shldn't have stopped then. maybe. but yah, hmmm. maybe i really have too much time. so much time that i spend the bulk of it thinking abt stupid random things and write them down. okay. they aren't stupid and random. they happen to be damn impt. oh well.

i sincerely hope no one bothered to read this post due to its length. cos this is one stupid post. i wanted to say that its different frm wad i'd normally say. my usual front. but then again, i don't know why people like to categorise someone else so much. look at the headlines "IN PRIVATE: FAMILY MAN; IN PUBLIC:RUTHLESS KILLER". seriously, there are so many facets to someone that it is bloody irritating for the paper to imply that WOAHHHH SURPRISE SURPRISE! SOMEONE IN THIS WORLD ACTUALLY HAS 2 SIDES TO HIM. why do u think we'r 3d and not 2d anyway. wth. why can't someone be a doting daddy and be laundering money? maybe hes laundering money cos hes a doting dad.

im getting all angsty and incoherent. pui.

my new love.

behold my love!
he is the one who makes me smile.
he is the one who cheers me up.
he is the one who brightens up my office.
he is the one who resides in my heart.
woo hooo.
lurve!

and im so blardy underpaid.

don't read this.

i've a thousand n one issues right now.

what is the fucking point of having many buses of the same service travelling with one another? does a bus need a companion too? do bus drivers have lk...walkie-talkies to communicate w the nx bus driver? is that why shy and reserved bus drivers have to drive together even tho they'r supp to be serving the SAME crowd at DIFFERENT times? lk hello? don't u ever fucking realise that ppl hate to wait when its so fucking hot and when they'r hungry? are u scared driving the bus alone? are u afraid cos u've so many lives in ur hands?

andddd. it is bloody obvious that the courtesy campaign in singapore failed terribly. seriously. i think it makes PERFECT sense that if you're gonna take public transport, the least you can do is to make sure u don't stink. i don't even ask for you to smell good. just don't fucking stink up the entire bus when its at its most congested. leave ur coconut oil and/or dirty clothes behind. invest in a deodorent. they are unbelievably cheap. bathe properly. bathe frequently. no one else needs to sniff ur musky smell. u don't have to mark ur territory with ur stench. if need be, TAKE A FUCKING TAXI. SUBJECTING ONE POOR SOUL TO THAT ODOUR IS SO MUCH MORE CONSIDERATE THAN LETTING AN ENTIRE BUS FULL OF PASSENGERS WINCE. fuck. i hate smelly people.

and how the hell am i gg to find a fren who will fly to brisbane w me? and then let me go off w mel? what kind of a condition is that? i happen to think im capable and independent enough to take a stupid airplane. hopefully it crashes when im on it.

ughs.

glamorous.

or the exact opposite.

i realised, after 21 years, that i really happen to be damn unglam. it's not just how i sit at my lil corner at work, it's how i think and behave generally. glamour is more than strutting around in pretty clothes.

but hey, guess what. although i don't have pretty clothes, someone said i walked lk a princess when i was in cedar. HAHA! although he might be referring to how bratty and bitchy i looked in the mornings, let's all be nice and see how princesses are supposed to be all elegant! and i was in my cedar uniform! yays!

and i realised that no matter how much i try to write a long entry, i can't.
i can't write at all.
i really happen to be really bad at literature.
no skill no skill. my entries are short and in point form. hmmm. how sad.
i was, afterall, a literature student, and i can't write to save my ass.
ugh.

and im scared.
of you.
and everyone else.

work's actually quite good.
i mean, other than the unforgivable fact that i can't slp in and can't slp at all, i'm really starting to like work.
because they're funny, and i discovered that hey, law teaches damn a lot of stuff that ppl are struggling to learn in the office.
well, i guess all that trees that are killed have some worth in them.
at least i now know that, no matter how useless law seems, it really isn't.

oh well.
let's all pray that i slp tonight!

whine

i feel lk a blob of fats right now.

but i wanna eat.
i want chips. ruffles' cheese and sour cream.
and chicken wings. bbqed ones please.
and ice cream. haagen's rumraisin on a cone.
and milkshake. island creamery's brandied cherry.

and i can't f-ing slp.
the horrors of a new week at work are keeping me wide awake.

samm says (04:14):
i'm into manly soldiers

MOMENT OF TRUTH!
//omg.

smirk

i thank God for a friend like you, because everytime i talk to you, i need to remind myself, it's you i'm talking to, and because you're such a special friend.. =) hahaha.. you're loved *hug

thats from roy! yays. (i just don't lk the "i need to remind myself" bit)

pui

regrets.
i wish i didnt agree to go sph.
i wish i dont need to work.
i wish i had all the time in the world to hibernate.
i wish i could be an owl happily.
i wish.