how is it possible to have 2 young adults, who are supposedly experienced in relationships, act lk pri 3 kids in their interaction with each other? you ignored me, so i shall ignore you.

what happened to the good old communication? what's up with all this spiteful action and childish behaviour? it is probably extremely difficulte and requires quite a bit of courage to be honest, but when you are in a relationship, shouldn't u be honest? shouldn't u at least attempt to trust the other party and think the best of him/her?

if you can't, just drop the relationship. and spare each other the pain you inflict upon each other in your quest for victory because of your pride and ego. the pain you end up inflicting upon yourself too.

go away.

i don't know what my silence says, but...you asshole.

as elusive as it sounds, i think karma is finally catching up with me.

and i highly think karma is gg to destroy me. evil karma.

in all bimbo-ness and pink bubblegum pop-tic..

britney spears was damn hot lar.
and damn pretty.
shes seriously smoking hot.
goodness.

then she got married.
wth.

you.

im gonna run away from you.

enlightenment again.

all of a sudden, everyone seems to see the light somewhere.

wad can i say?
maybe im just jumping on the bandwagon.
but hey, i hope this last enlightenment is it.
this is it.
i hope.

diesel sweeties

(i cant believe im reading comics online and posting some random comic during work.. tsk. its all xw's fault)

actually, in the 2nd box, the toaster turns into a robot/transformer thingy.

LOVE THE COMIC!

I F I K I S S E D Y O U

Written by Corrinne May Ying Foo
Copyright 2001, Corrmay Gourmet Music (ASCAP)

If I kissed you
Would fireworks fly
Would angels sing with lollipops
Would dinosaurs cry

Would babies all gurgle
in laughter and surprise
If I kissed you.

If I kissed you
What would Michaelangelo say
Would he still have sculpted David
Would we be immortalized in clay
Would the poets write of love like ours
Would John Donne have his say
If I kissed you

You could be one in a million
You could be the one for me
But l guess I'll never know if I never try
I guess I'll just have to grab you in my arms
and kiss you.

If I kissed you
Would you lose track of time
Would you feel a surge of happiness
Running up your spine
Would you run naked in the street
with a tattoo of my name on your behind
If I kissed you.

Oh, if I kissed you
Yeah, if I kissed you.

damn nice song.
and no, im not hinting to anyone.

no.

i am not lying to myself.

i am not.

don'tdoubtme.

the unexplainable.

so many things have no rationale, no reason, no explanation.

lk the disappointment that is welling up inside of me.

conversation.

me (to myself): i need a credit card.
bro: to buy the air tickets?
me: no? to shop online.
bro: WHAT! AND TO THINK I THOUGHT U WANTED TO BUY AIR TICKETS?! JUST TO SHOP ONLINE? *&^%$#

his reaction is too big mannnn.
and i really need a credit card to shop.
or maybe i shld just dig out someone's number (which i think is kept in msn history logs) to purchase those damn goods.

newspaper

i think its best not to read the newspapers.

it gives me depression each time i read it.

comments

im thoroughly convinced that having a compulsory module to have students learn abt patriotism and force them to love the country is the exact way to make the students hate the country (well, not that extreme, but u get wad i mean) for attempting to brainwash them. so japan, learn from...other countries.

learn that if you realise your citizens are smart enough,they'll realise the merits and advantages of your country instead of you having to brainwash them into soulless lil robots.

in any case, everytime i read the newspaper, i wanna comment on so many things.

lk early NS enlistment. for troubled kids? go NS? hello. i know army means discipline, but for troubled kids who do not even have a 'O' level cert, they are def gonna be doing nth in there, and then theres all that stupid hooligans/punks/morons who bring other morons to geylang and all that junk. and the troubled kids are probably that impressionable to get into trouble to begin with anyway, so whats not to stop them from having other vices.
so NO NO tapping in others' wireless. but YES to potential vices like prosituting and getting AIDS.

okay, its too early in the morning.
i need to rest.

=(

i feel lk kenny's dad.

and for everyone's sake (esp mine),
i hope no one figures out what that means.

i conclude...

... that my colleagues are really fun ppl. altho they're old (but not really that old), they are so much fun to be around. not in the crazy kinda way, but the chirpy kinda way. well, i guess its a good thing to be in a small department, cos everyone knows everyone else. it's quite a jolly thing to go to work, actually. surprisingly. i mean, i konw i whine a lot abt gg to work. its actually the fact that im not slping that is irritating. otherwise, im quite okay. im even happy trooping arnd in d morning. i just need to slp when i want to. and it obv doesn't help that i don't slp properly at night. ugh.

... that my family's quite fantastic. prob a bit different from others. okay, definitely different from your ideal, perfect family, but im happy (sometimes). different or dysfunctional. i choose different today. im in quite a good mood. heh. and i love the extended family too. not that they are perfect, again. but, they are so heart-warming. most of them, anyway. some shld just go roll into their lil corners n pretend that they don't exist.

... that my life isn't that bad. except that i wanna eat at astons now. i need a piece of meat to chomp on. and i wanna eat some nice, frothy cake. and i want ice cream. and bubble tea. and fish soup. and bak chor mee. and hokkien mee (this is angie's fault). and char kway teow.

... that my brisbane plan is finally finally falling into place. and i just had this fantastically hilarious blooper abt something. hahahahahaha... its okay! life's still good! its okay. i shall ignore that stupid bit of me. its not lk im d only one who thought that way ANYWAYYYYYY.

... that i wanna buy shoes. and dresses. and bags. and tops. and pants. and shorts. and maybe an entirely new wardrobe.

... that i just want to be able to slp well tonight.

i shall go make a call now!

inspirations

right now, i really feel like cooking. altho, i've never cooked in my entire life except for random bowls of maggi mee and frying eggs (WHICH I HAPPEN TO BE DAMN PROUD OF). in any case, angie's excitement for EVERY single meal she prepares is rubbing off me. her excitement usually makes me hungry. but tonight, i feel so domesticated. i actually feel like cooking as well. woooo! exciting. i shall dedicate one day to cooking after i leave the wretched place that has this impression that aircon is free. seriously, i wear 3 layers to work, and still feel damn cold. wth.

and i like the little observations i have in my daily conversations/communication/whatever. well, i like some of them anyway. not all, since some will def irk me. but hey, some make me smile. a bit too widely, but they really do make me smile. it's quite a funny thing, isn't it. to smile at a memory. if the memory is good, and the present is good, then all's good. but if the memory is superb, and the present is lk shit, then....well....common sense says that at this time, there will be sighs and tears and what-nots.

the hours i spent at work (tho admittedly better than some individuals. most individuals) gave me a chance to reflect. maybe it's the silence, or random bouts of it, that made me write. well, it'd not a bad way to start writing again. on notepads. maybe i shldn't have stopped then. maybe. but yah, hmmm. maybe i really have too much time. so much time that i spend the bulk of it thinking abt stupid random things and write them down. okay. they aren't stupid and random. they happen to be damn impt. oh well.

i sincerely hope no one bothered to read this post due to its length. cos this is one stupid post. i wanted to say that its different frm wad i'd normally say. my usual front. but then again, i don't know why people like to categorise someone else so much. look at the headlines "IN PRIVATE: FAMILY MAN; IN PUBLIC:RUTHLESS KILLER". seriously, there are so many facets to someone that it is bloody irritating for the paper to imply that WOAHHHH SURPRISE SURPRISE! SOMEONE IN THIS WORLD ACTUALLY HAS 2 SIDES TO HIM. why do u think we'r 3d and not 2d anyway. wth. why can't someone be a doting daddy and be laundering money? maybe hes laundering money cos hes a doting dad.

im getting all angsty and incoherent. pui.

glamorous.

or the exact opposite.

i realised, after 21 years, that i really happen to be damn unglam. it's not just how i sit at my lil corner at work, it's how i think and behave generally. glamour is more than strutting around in pretty clothes.

but hey, guess what. although i don't have pretty clothes, someone said i walked lk a princess when i was in cedar. HAHA! although he might be referring to how bratty and bitchy i looked in the mornings, let's all be nice and see how princesses are supposed to be all elegant! and i was in my cedar uniform! yays!

and i realised that no matter how much i try to write a long entry, i can't.
i can't write at all.
i really happen to be really bad at literature.
no skill no skill. my entries are short and in point form. hmmm. how sad.
i was, afterall, a literature student, and i can't write to save my ass.
ugh.

and im scared.
of you.
and everyone else.

work's actually quite good.
i mean, other than the unforgivable fact that i can't slp in and can't slp at all, i'm really starting to like work.
because they're funny, and i discovered that hey, law teaches damn a lot of stuff that ppl are struggling to learn in the office.
well, i guess all that trees that are killed have some worth in them.
at least i now know that, no matter how useless law seems, it really isn't.

oh well.
let's all pray that i slp tonight!