current addiction:
Be Be Your Love - Rachael Yamagata

I could take you away
Pretend I was queen
What would you say
Would you think I'm unreal
'Cause everybody's got their way I should feel

Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real

Want to be your everything
Everything...

Everything's falling, and I am included in that
Oh, how I try to be just okay
Yeah, but all I ever really wanted
Was a little piece of you

And everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real

Everything will be alright
If you just stay the night
Please, sir, don't you walk away,
don't you walk away, don't you walk away
Please, sir, don't you walk away,
don't you walk away, don't you walk away

And everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real

And everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real
I want to be your love, love, love

I decided!

that for public law,
I shall depend on thio li ann. and her tutorials.

and I realised!
(during my facial this afternoon)

that I act chummy, but don't confide.
I make noise. I don't talk.

that I need to stop drinking water.
because lying on a bed, with a mask on, and wanting to pee damn badly...is one damn bad experience.

that I need to move on with my life.
cos no one will stop.

that I really hate studying.
no explanation needed.

that I love facials
cos of that massage, and mask.
but only if I don't want to pee.

and that I should start to respect myself and see my self-worth.
not because of what I don't have, but because of what I have.
KALYN LIANG! READ THIS BIT CAREFULLY.

how many times
does it take
for your heart to die
before it can be pronounced
dead?

text twist is evil.

just say that i shld go get lunch myself.

don't fucking tell me
that BECAUSE i slpt past YOUR lunch time
you gave my lunch up to someone else.

given the time i slpt
i should fucking slp past dinner time too.

i think its time for you to go away.

bye bye.

the mere mention of the beach makes me want to go to the beach again.

just for the wind.
that only happens to blow at 2 plus am.

or the waves.
and the soothing sound of them crashing agst the shore.

BUT
given my blardy grand plan of tackling
1 chapter a day
and the fact that
i do not have sufficient days
plus
how i cannot sit still for more than 15 minutes
resulting in
me still trying to understand cases at 4 am.

the beach seems too unattainable.

sigh.

my sad life.

and since im whining,
i might as well tell the world that im hungry.
despite campbell soup and durians at 1 plus, near 2.
and how satay, rojak and chicken wings would do me real good. (ANGIE THIS IS YOUR FAULT. AND YOU'RE ACT BBQ-ING RIGHT NOW)

whine whine whine whine whine.
whine.

i hate constructive trust.
its too fucking long.

i compiled the equity case summaries.
well, for constructive trust and tracing.

and i swear,
if there is karma in this world,
and shld i die,
my next life is so going to be a tree.

then i'll get peeled weekly
just cos some blardy elitist law students
have 100000 cases to do for one freaking module.
and another 100000 pages to read for another module.

shit.
law sch gives one bad karma.

makings of a happy day.

waking up with a sms that tells you that you're missed greatly.
+
plus a call from your old man so that he could send you to sch since it's raining so heavily
+
pleasant realisation that you did not fail the 5000 words essay
+
lovely duck noodles. (altho it wasn't enuf n i had to order macs)

despite...
1. a nagging headache cos of the lack of slp.
2. waiting for people
3. drinking the world's most lousy peppermint green tea
4. being stuck in a horrible jam (i wasn't driving, but...i feel d angst too!)
5. disgusting display of...blatant lies.

life's good.
even tho there's exams n notes.

well,
life's good cos im smiling.

at 5 am.
and normally, i wouldn't be.

cheers world!

i love you despite your imperfections.

new layout!

woahh....
the world almost saw this "I CANT PUT MY TAGBOARD UP" entry.

but its okay!
im smart enuf to put my tagboard up!
//smug.

and this layout is so boring and plain.
not lk my previous chilli padis.
but the chilli padis died on me.

so yeah. here goes.

new layout.
w horrendous colour combination.

but nvm!
i lk! =)

tell me..
whats your take
on dreams?

are they signs?

if they are,
from God?
or from your subconscious?

tell me.

before i get lost in my dreams.

it's almost lk how i wanna free myself frm my own walls.
so i hit a hole thru one wall so that someone can see it.
and come look for me.
but before i allow anyone in,
i build another wall.
so the wall with a hole has another wall behind it.
the walls i build are closing in on me.

and im not even feeling emo now.
i just feel damn fat.
from the popeye's meal.

instead of spending my time fruitfully...ie. studying given how exams are damn nearrrrr...
i spent my days watching a show that i've rewatched OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

and i shall not mention the show title.
it's way tooooooo paiseh.
but yes, i think i watched it this time last year.
while preparing for exams. (or trying)
and i've watched it for too many times.
maybe 6? HAHAHAHAHA. in a yr.
i scare myself.

but i can't stop swooning and smiling.
cos he's so suave.
cos his smile is so cute.
cos their portrayal of love is that sweet.
cos she's so comical.
cos he looks so damn yummy in his suits.
the grey one? white one?
*swoon*

ahhhhhh.
im in love.
w love.
and the suave misterrr.

cos if love is about smiling to yourself
and looking extremely stupid
but feeling pure bliss
and complete happiness...

i am in love.

i love it when friends get together and drink (anything. not just alcohol.)

because when friends get together, they talk.
abt everything.
and anything.
of cos, provided that the friends are still quite close.

DONT say its cos of the alcohol.
cos i was happy drinking green tea last night too.

i loveeeee my friends.
i loveeeeeeee nuaing arnd.

i hope exams are over.

what is more pathetic

than waking up

with ur delusion

manifesting in ur dream?

nothing, i guess.
other than being happy at that manifestation.

this is my xueping!
so instead of studying, i decided to look at pics.
and i realised that i've damn a lot of pics with xueping.
when i say damn a lot, i mean.........damn a lot.
HAHA.
sorry man, im not the accountant in this friendship.

although this pic was taken when i had long hair..
and both of us were in our mj pe kits..
we've already left the schooool.
in case you forgot,lump, it's taken when clare n i trooped over to bake.
okay. clar baked.
i played with the dough.

in any case, there's too much to talk abt when it cos to lump xue ping.
i dunno where to start.
the classroom windows?
PW?
GP?
kenny rogers?
pinggg pong?! :)
water cooler?
soccer boys? (HAR!)
nana?
shopping?
MY $150 DRESS?! (rem my email?)
shoes?
bags?
the cow? antics, speech, everything.

see. too much.
lk how many of those things can anyone understand man.
friendship really need lots of time.
even if one person's always involved in projects and meetings and all from that SCH.
as long as the other person is nua-ing half the time and skipping lessons all the time,
ALL WILL BE FINE!
thats sufficient time. hahahaha.

yays!
i love you!

i swear im not half as free as i look.

i don't lk my conclusion.

i don't lk how i think.

i don't wanna think that way.

but, to think otherwise, would mean im sticking to my delusion.

freak.

:xiwen says:
guys should just be unthinking sex machines

my friend!
i love!

i see the difference
between
vulnerability.
and weakness.

i welcome vulnerability.
and abhor weakness.

call me uncompassionate.
wicked.
cruel.
selfish.

but i abhor weakness.

in all honesty
i'm lost.

lost.
in my religion.
or lack of.

how can i be a Christian
who doesn't go to church
who doesn't pray

in any case,
i stopped.
believing.

so, i'm pretty amazed recently.
cos my neighbour,
who has been playing the piano for such a long time
decided to play hymns.

not just any hymns.
but hymns i sang when i was young.
hymns that brought me to church.
hymns that i can't help but sing along.

ah.
life.

coincidence?
or reminder?
-6.30pm-

well, i met up with apple and izzy today.

quite an occasion, cos...well, i don't normally meet them.

so i went to ms clarity cafe (xiwen! i know how to bring u there!)

and boy, was it crowded.

its seriously damn freaking crowded lar.

and it's darn noisy inside.

lk 1000000000 ppl speaking at the top of their voices in a tiny room, so the noises are amplified. eeeeyers.

in any case! apple n i had this:

it's soft shell crab fantasy. ie. soft shell crab with pasta in creamy sauce!

so initially, in all excitement, apple gave it thumbs up!

simply because this is one MONUMENTAL day when she chooses something other than chicken.
there was chicken on the menu, and she chose this!
seriously amazing.
i think i should go buy 4d.
i mean, shes the person who asked for chicken in fish&co.
woah!
there's much progress in her life!

but at the end of it all, i think she will end up sticking to chicken.
not that the soft shell crab was bad...
she just wasn't used to eating crab shells.
i think.
HAHAHAHHA!
so much for progress.