dont read.

i dunno how i manage to feel so small, insignificant and pathetic so frequently. i have no idea why i feel this way. okay, maybe i do, but i do not understand why there's so much difference. i cannot, for the life of me, figure out what is wrong with me. why is it that something, that can make me so happy. end up destroying my last bit of confidence and joy? how is it possible for such extremes to exist in my life?

so what do i do now? i've tried so many ways. i've tried so many times. and each time, i fail and get more entangled. for every single time i lie to myself, i killed my last bit of dignity. i've no idea how much more dignity there is for me to destroy.

so each time i grow silent on you, forgive me. i'm just wondering what's next.