to those who care..

i didn't skip sch on d 1st day.

i only ended up slping in on d 2nd day of sch.

i am sad.

i slpt at 7 am and woke at 1030 am for the 1st day of school.

and now...

i still can't slp.

seriously.

i think i need to buy more flu medicine.

then i rem what someone said..

"so now you're an alcoholic and a drug addict."

ahhh. nice.

wad a great summary of my life.

maybe you shld have added in insomniac.

sighhhhhhhhhh.

i wonder if im gg for lessons tmr.

and right now..i feel lk eating at astons.

eat wad i usually eat.

sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

well

i guess the more u don't want something to affect you

the probability of it affecting you increases.

todayyy...i baked.

i slpt at 10 pm last night..went to my granny's this morn..then napped..

and i proceeded to bake my VERY OWN banana cake!

which happens to be terrifically banana-y!

to those who know that there shld be a chocolate coating...
i was too drained from mashing the bananas.

to those who don't know that there shld be a chocolate coating...
pretend that you still don't know.

all in all, im DAMN proud of myself.

and zah, seriously, im so wholesome i think your parents will want you to spend more time with me.

im such a wholesome kid!

am reading "the rape of nanking"

am particularly disturbed by the author's use of "random rape".

somehow, the word random doesn't apply when the idea and image projected from the book is that the japanese soldiers raped most women.

how can that ever be random?

random rape.

wad a way to mar the sanctity of the word "random".

guess wad!

i really love drinking!

esp since alcoholic drinks give u this sweet taste.

followed by a bitter aftertaste.

THENNNNN sweet again.

perfect!

im gonna turn into an alcoholic and get addicted.

im gonna be all high and crazy (sans pukey).

and im gonna wait for someone to enter me into AA.

and hold hands with doraemon. (this is an inside joke)

ps. i realised tt i just want to test my limits for alcohol. so....beware, friends!

the ass of the brother stomped into my room at 5 am.

just as i yawned n rolled into my bed, he entered.

cos he couldn't slp.

so he bugged me to talk to him.

he resorted to snuggling on my bed.

so now, at 8 am, i'm still bloody hell awake.

all cos of the ass of the brother.

hear my calls to help me stay buoyant?

the waves don't happen to have mercy.

they sweep everything away, and allow no shred of hope for an escape.

they keep you under, and diminish all traces of oxygen.

they smother.

i wonder how long the smile will remain.



and right now, all i want to do, is to hear the waves crashing upon the shore.

and i can pretend that i'm above the waves.

safe.

when, in actual fact, i happen to be slipping under.


i was told that most of my entries happen to be negative.

not that it surprises me.

i can share happy stuff easily.

but when some haunting issues that can't be spoken loom about

who will keep me buoyant?



i know i sound suicidal.

im not. no worries.

not yet, at least.

nightmare no 2.

my junk food stash is gone.



i think yr 2007 doesn't bode well.

2 nightmares in 2 days.

my very 1st dream of 2006

happens to be a nightmare.

where all the crows attacked everyone.



this is really really bad.

i tried going to bed at 12.
i failed.

since im up, tired and prob won't be slping soon, i shall attempt updating random souls who only know me via this blog abt the past week.

basically, i think im on my way to getting my own lil corner for my tent in the lam household, given how i've been there soooo many times.

and i played santa. altho i do not have a tummy ( i do not care. i do not have one. ) and i've no white hair, or white beard, i wore a red shirt. and i trooped to different houses with my rudolph and elfs.
so this yr, i gave cards, christmas socks, and to those lucky children who know the rudolph - cookies.
by the way, the cookies were cool. they were chocolate chip cookies that had a cookie-n-cream hershey chocolate in the centre..and it ended off with (for extremely nice kids) a layer of dark chocolate somewhere.
OH! and i fried an egg. it was salty. BUT YOU SHOULD STILL TELL ME THAT ITS NICE. ass.
andddd....i've been accused of chao keng-ing during my santa duty cos i snuggled in ppl's couches. to clear the record, i was not slacking. i was just a tired santa who had to rest for a bit before continuing on my journey to visit other kids. stupid rudolph.

then i baked cookies again. okay, in all honesty, i didn't. i only played with the dough. i went AFTER i woke up, AFTER clar n lump made the dough. i appeared (with their help, of course) and played. yay.
and we trooooooooped to geylang for supper! roy helped in this. haahahaha. i really do lk the over-tenderised beef horfun. BUT now all i wanna eat is astons' black pepper chicken. SIGH.

went to lin's place. zah n xw baked a chocolate banana cake. i err.......tried helping with the salad, and decided that in order for me to be more domesticated, i shld learn what to do with food. things that aren't eggs and maggi mee. i can't even figure out wad to do with the vege for salad. omg.
but it was fun.
cos i loved d chats and d game. its been so long since i last played a boardgame! ahhhhh.....i wanna play. yay.

had sushi and felt lk puking after that for overeating.
i've NEVER felt that bad.
and cos i dun wanna elaborate, this will be all abt the sushi.

its now 2.54 am .
i wanna slp.
someone teach me how to fall aslp.
i need help badly.
sickening.

i shall try cutting my hair tmr.
if i've time.

ahhhhhhhhh..

i wanna slp.

what's it with the disgusting trend to lose weight via dieting?

SIGH! MY 7210!

SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH...

fucking pissed.

love / Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[luhv]
Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation noun, verb, loved, lov·ing.
–noun

1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2.a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3. sexual passion or desire.
4. a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
5. (used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?
6. a love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour.
7. sexual intercourse; copulation.
8. (initial capital letter) a personification of sexual affection, as Eros or Cupid.
9. affectionate concern for the well-being of others: the love of one's neighbor.
10. strong predilection, enthusiasm, or liking for anything: her love of books.
11. the object or thing so liked: The theater was her great love.
12. the benevolent affection of God for His creatures, or the reverent affection due from them to God.
13. Chiefly Tennis. a score of zero; nothing.
14. a word formerly used in communications to represent the letter L.

Love from www.dictionary.com

if i say i love you, which love do you think im talking abt?

imagine being slapped back to reality.

if you don't know how it feels like...let me tell you.

it hurts.

im writing christmas cards!

and i just wrote the one for the best friend.

and guilt struck.

SIGH!

L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore

Love is all that I can give to you
Love is more than just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart but please don’t take it
Love was made for me and you

on a sidenote, december's d time to nua arnd. the weather is perfect for nuaing, and nothing else. its d lesson i've to relearn every december.

OH.. and thats my fave song of the moment..not hints that im in some form of weird relationship that is not.....presentable.

WELL.....my hoodie came!

along with guilt that will probably last me for a lifetime.

i feel like a liability. as someone put it...bratty? omg. kill me. the guilt is eating me up.

but the hoodie is nice n i love it! love love it!

thank you! thank you very much!

im gonna be indebted for life.

i had a stayover last night.
to be more accurate, i housed 3 souls in my house last night.

and i've my top 5 fave moments....no rank whatsoever.

1. Kalyn going "i'm so fat!" and then reaching out for her glass of coke. (this was observed by chinggggg who wondered this out loud. nice. )

2. While watching Lord of The Rings, mabel leong went "you mean this isn't based on a true story?" (CLASSIC)

3. Watching ching and mabel leong attempt to hula hoop. (should count as 2..but.....they'r too amusing. one shakes everywhere..one does not shake at all)

4. Mabel leong wanting to lie on my feet. (For what, i've no idea. but she really wanted. weirdo. )

5. Ching exclaiming "i can monkey bar like a monkey!" ('cept that monkeys do not climb monkey bars)