i tried going to bed at 12.
i failed.

since im up, tired and prob won't be slping soon, i shall attempt updating random souls who only know me via this blog abt the past week.

basically, i think im on my way to getting my own lil corner for my tent in the lam household, given how i've been there soooo many times.

and i played santa. altho i do not have a tummy ( i do not care. i do not have one. ) and i've no white hair, or white beard, i wore a red shirt. and i trooped to different houses with my rudolph and elfs.
so this yr, i gave cards, christmas socks, and to those lucky children who know the rudolph - cookies.
by the way, the cookies were cool. they were chocolate chip cookies that had a cookie-n-cream hershey chocolate in the centre..and it ended off with (for extremely nice kids) a layer of dark chocolate somewhere.
OH! and i fried an egg. it was salty. BUT YOU SHOULD STILL TELL ME THAT ITS NICE. ass.
andddd....i've been accused of chao keng-ing during my santa duty cos i snuggled in ppl's couches. to clear the record, i was not slacking. i was just a tired santa who had to rest for a bit before continuing on my journey to visit other kids. stupid rudolph.

then i baked cookies again. okay, in all honesty, i didn't. i only played with the dough. i went AFTER i woke up, AFTER clar n lump made the dough. i appeared (with their help, of course) and played. yay.
and we trooooooooped to geylang for supper! roy helped in this. haahahaha. i really do lk the over-tenderised beef horfun. BUT now all i wanna eat is astons' black pepper chicken. SIGH.

went to lin's place. zah n xw baked a chocolate banana cake. i err.......tried helping with the salad, and decided that in order for me to be more domesticated, i shld learn what to do with food. things that aren't eggs and maggi mee. i can't even figure out wad to do with the vege for salad. omg.
but it was fun.
cos i loved d chats and d game. its been so long since i last played a boardgame! ahhhhh.....i wanna play. yay.

had sushi and felt lk puking after that for overeating.
i've NEVER felt that bad.
and cos i dun wanna elaborate, this will be all abt the sushi.

its now 2.54 am .
i wanna slp.
someone teach me how to fall aslp.
i need help badly.
sickening.

i shall try cutting my hair tmr.
if i've time.

ahhhhhhhhh..

i wanna slp.

what's it with the disgusting trend to lose weight via dieting?

SIGH! MY 7210!

SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH...

fucking pissed.

love / Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[luhv]
Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation noun, verb, loved, lov·ing.
–noun

1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2.a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3. sexual passion or desire.
4. a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
5. (used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?
6. a love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour.
7. sexual intercourse; copulation.
8. (initial capital letter) a personification of sexual affection, as Eros or Cupid.
9. affectionate concern for the well-being of others: the love of one's neighbor.
10. strong predilection, enthusiasm, or liking for anything: her love of books.
11. the object or thing so liked: The theater was her great love.
12. the benevolent affection of God for His creatures, or the reverent affection due from them to God.
13. Chiefly Tennis. a score of zero; nothing.
14. a word formerly used in communications to represent the letter L.

Love from www.dictionary.com

if i say i love you, which love do you think im talking abt?

imagine being slapped back to reality.

if you don't know how it feels like...let me tell you.

it hurts.

im writing christmas cards!

and i just wrote the one for the best friend.

and guilt struck.

SIGH!

L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore

Love is all that I can give to you
Love is more than just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart but please don’t take it
Love was made for me and you

on a sidenote, december's d time to nua arnd. the weather is perfect for nuaing, and nothing else. its d lesson i've to relearn every december.

OH.. and thats my fave song of the moment..not hints that im in some form of weird relationship that is not.....presentable.

WELL.....my hoodie came!

along with guilt that will probably last me for a lifetime.

i feel like a liability. as someone put it...bratty? omg. kill me. the guilt is eating me up.

but the hoodie is nice n i love it! love love it!

thank you! thank you very much!

im gonna be indebted for life.

i had a stayover last night.
to be more accurate, i housed 3 souls in my house last night.

and i've my top 5 fave moments....no rank whatsoever.

1. Kalyn going "i'm so fat!" and then reaching out for her glass of coke. (this was observed by chinggggg who wondered this out loud. nice. )

2. While watching Lord of The Rings, mabel leong went "you mean this isn't based on a true story?" (CLASSIC)

3. Watching ching and mabel leong attempt to hula hoop. (should count as 2..but.....they'r too amusing. one shakes everywhere..one does not shake at all)

4. Mabel leong wanting to lie on my feet. (For what, i've no idea. but she really wanted. weirdo. )

5. Ching exclaiming "i can monkey bar like a monkey!" ('cept that monkeys do not climb monkey bars)

i hate second guessing.

im getting sick of it too.

while charging the stupid nano, i decided to bring the world's attention to my cousins!

the pretty background is from far east. the benches opp guardian! and we were happily posing, while our cameraman snapped our pics...

thennnnnn.....the unglam side sets in..and we decided to just kiao-ka. but of cos, my cousin still has to look darn cool and suave even when he's just...plain unglam. ahh well, the perils of being my cousin.

lionel `- x G [ lil one says:
you always have cravings

lionel `- x G [ lil one says:
are you pregnant?

I DON'T LIKE LIONEL. says:
.................

I DON'T LIKE LIONEL. says:
yes i am.

yes, world.
i am pregnant.
does this explain my cravings?
if it doesn't, go roll away.

in a world where the perfect is ideal..
my family waits to be annihilated.

in the world where lies and facades are abundant..
my family is 1st in line.

in the world without mercy..
my family crushes and dies.
all of us.

okay...to thank those who decided to be extremely sweet......

this is the stash of (junk) food from sammi n lump!

basically, there's lk..10 huge pkts of chips, 20 pocky, hello panda, 4 bars of choc (out of which 3 are cadbury family bars), 3 cups of bee bee, a huge pack mamee maggi, a bag of marshmallows, 3(?) bags of mallow blasts, a bag of hersheys kisses, a bag of freddos, 4 small haribos, 2 chocolate coated marshmallow (which made me d happiest since i was trying to buy them), 2 boxes of cornflakes...and...yeah...exhaustive list..but not ending yet..

actually, i'm not half as skinny as i look in the pic. it's just a damn wrong angle. i was shocked at the absurdity of recieving junk food for my bday. as if that's not crazy enuf, i've a trunk (& 2 plastic bags) of junk food.

not that i'm complaining. the junk food happens to be the junk i love. lurveeee. true love. when you know that it's not good for you, and your love for it stays steadfast. sigh.

according to some ass, called tw...sammi & lump think tt i'm a cow.

and..............altho i doubt they think im a cow, i think they see me as a glutton.

but its okay! i still love you all! my best fren! and the one who wants to steal me frm my best fren! fight over me k! but well, lump tells me to love sammi more. since he was the one who bought the food. and he told me that i've no idea how much trouble he went thru just for the food. thankkkkkkk youuu! haaha... thank you sooo much!

i cannot help but laugh each time i think of the stash of food. cos its so sweet and funny. my bro concluded tt my frens think war is coming...but yeah. it really does seem tt way.

but anyhow... thank you! to those 3 who appeared last night with the stash and the popeye's food. -insert smug emo- i love my friends.

yeah, then todayyyy, kalyn n tw (yes, the ass who decided tt ppl think tt im a cow) bought a tiny cake for me! and it was so nice.

they lit the candle outside the MDC room, asking for a lighter..and letting everyone in the MDC room hear them shouting around for some random soul...

then came into the room, and switched off the light, so tt i can see the tiny cake with the lit candle!

soooo sweet. and they gave me some hideous elmo balloon. okay, it's not hideous. just.....................too cute for me.

and in doing so, i think the world now knows that i spent my bday studying licenses in sch. LIFE. shit.

but its okay, i still love the sweet gesture! thankkk you!

anyway, to all those who care, joel chen says he wanna get thousands of helium-filled balloons for his bday. so tt he can tie them to himself, and fly home.
have u ever wondered wad dean's listers' brains consist of?

I LOVE YOU, KERSHIA WONG!

you'r lk..the moment for my bday.
thank you! for making me smile.

i know i shld be studying.

but the thin documentary from hbo is distracting, to say the least. it's enticing.

maybe it's cos of the beauty of human flaws and fallacy that is captured. of cos, there's nothing pretty about anorexics, since all you see is skin and bones.
but there's the beauty of imperfect humans. not that this sounds right, but seeing the fears and insecurities, somehow, manages to conjure up a bitter-sweet feeling.
mainly because we suffer from the exact same fears and insecurities. except tt we don't let them control us.

who in this world does not want to fit into the ideal image of the perfect body?
no one can pretend that they aren't caught up with achieving the perfect body, because everyone faces the same influences and experiences the same naggy reminder that you aren't perfect.
in fact, you're far from perfect.

maybe, we shld applaud them for their determination and drive.
for being able to keep to wad they want.
to be thin.

but then again, society lashes back at what it brought about.
anorexia & bulimia happened because of the societal craze about the perfect body that is perpretated on the runways and hollywood. (some sticks just make me feel hungry)
and society then tries to stop anorexia & bulimia from destroying women.
why attempt to fatten up someone, when you and i and everyone else with a brain know that anorexia and bulimia is a bloody mental issue.
of cos, i know that while tackling the mental issue, the health of that patient has to be nursed back.

i don't know why im ranting abt this.
maybe i'm just disturbed by the destructive power of the media and society.

i shall go order pepperoni pizza and satisfy my craving now.

exams and mugging (or the lack of) screwed my brains.

bro : what's d young of a swan?
me: ugly duckling!

[i am so smart, i cannot stand it]

dear God.

please do provide a route for me to run away.

run away from the people i've been praying for.

amen.

hello, all...meet my best fren! he's called sammi. [don't ask me why. i just like it that way]

anyhow, i've been entrusted with the task to promote him.. he wants some rich law girl who can
1) protect him in future [i don't know if he plans to rape, or be raped] and
2) let him live off in future.
actually, i think the protecting part is inconsequential. i think he just needs a girl whom he can live off.. SO TAKE NOTE.

he's a very nice person! [yes, lump. i see the disbelief on ur face. he's only mean to you cos you...remind him of himself! HAHAHAHA. okay. maybe not.]

he'll deliver tau huey and rumraisin when you'r bonkers!
really. trust me. then again, maybe it depends on the level of insanity you are at.
and the nicest part is..he'll hide the rumraisin then pop it in ur face.
you'll get nice chocos frm him too! [but i guess if you don't like choc, he won't]

he'll let you whine n bitch to him.
some ppl just aren't nice to whine to. they cut you short and tell you to face reality.
but this one will let you go on n on. n sometimes, even encourage you. quite amazing lar. [i mean..seriously..i think he's pretty well-trained if he can stand me. okay, maybe not trained. pretty...capable?]

he'll entertain you.
or your maybe sudden decisions to go visit the zoo, aka primate garden & random friends, and night safari with the slogan "spot the non-existent animals in the dark." [i don't know if he'll go to the bird park. i nv had the slightest desire to pop by that wretched place.]
and he'll entertain you while he's in there too. like the kid you see in the pic! as in..behaving lk the kid..

he'll bring you to beaches!
even if you request it in d middle of d night.
it doesn't really matter that a bit of emo blackmail was used.
what counts is the fact tt he'll bring you to beaches at night! [see this, mabel leong! grab him!]

he'll bring you to far ends of the island. [that's really all he can bring you lar, he doesn't fly a plane. he can only drive a car. wad a downer!]
far ends that include ikea, changi airport, and maybe randomly, tuas when he wanna dump you somewhere just cos you tell him that you don't lk his............school. [all that brother-brother nonsense. they'r all gays, i tell you.]
oh oh oh..he might pop by vivo tooooo.

he'll let you bully him. [i don't really like the word bully, but......... FINE! sammi. look at this n smirk]
in his own words, im d only one doing the scolding in this friendship. and he won't harbour ill feelings over it,i think. [you better don't, samuel tan.]
but he'll keep harping abt how fierce you are, and nv fail to remind you that he's abused, and oh-so-saintly-and-noble to be able to tahan you. [he abuses me emotionally]

if you think that life is fair, think again.
he's got damn nice legs. [which, i'm sad to report, are currently being destroyed by his bro. so i might need to do an update and edit this bit]
he's got the metabolism rate every girl would die for. [or at least i would. im pretending that theres no snake in him.]

but if you think God is unfair, think again!
i don't know what to do with his...........brains sometimes.

he tells you he'll buy a huge dog and train it to pounce on you.

he looks at your arms when you talk abt fats. [THIS ISN'T NICE AT ALL LAR.]

he agrees wholeheartedly and happily when you voice out your thoughts abt you being a moron. [i take back everything i said on how he's really nice.]

aiyahhhh d list goes on lar. but i think this bloody post is the longest i've EVERRRRRRRRR blogged. my goodness. just fer you, sammi.

and to clear all doubts, my best fren is actually older than 7. or wadever age that lil kid was when the pic was taken. [he was so cute. sooooo cute.] i aint no deluded pedo lar. kids can't drive nor stay up late.

here's the best fren now:

quite smart ah! i told you God's fair.

anyhow...

to sammi: you can pretend you read this on ur bday k! happpppy birthday!

oh oh! he wanted me to add this in. "even tho my best fren hates horror show, he woke up at 10 am, despite slping at 6 am, to eat macs breakfast with me, then caught final call, which is a dumb horror show, with me" [okay, i admit. i embellished the statement. but only a tad!]
AND HIS IC GOT CHECKED FOR A NC-16 SHOW!

you're very very much appreciated, sammi!
don't die before me k!