i was reading lump's blog. then i realised tt i actually had 2 things on my mind to blog. so here they are:

1.
dear huay ching...wanted to prove how nice she was. so she said she'll be nice and stop bitching abt T if she graduates this year.
hooow nice! cept for the fact tt she won't graduate from law this year. she can only move on and get into yr 2.
hooooow nice.

2.
my dearest lump.......wanted to cross the road. and i told her that its raining. and she walked onto the walkway of bugis junction in order to see if it was really raining!
nothing is wrong with this, really. it makes perfect sense for anyone to do that. to walk into the rain and see if it's still raining.
however, the icing on this cake is that she walked into the walkway WITH SHELTER to see if it was raining.
i am so sure that the shelter had holes to let her check if it was raining. i ammmm soo sure. da chang jing destroys brains lar. gosh.

i think that t.t. durai deserves sympathy. look at how stressed he looks now. he probably doesn't slp anymore. i know he earned too much money, and that he probably deserves it. but honestly, look at the number of lawsuits he's slapped with. not as if it's not bad enough for him to lose his job, he's slapped with lawsuits from some govt team, then he's currently sued by the old nkf employees. and im pretty sure, he's gonna be issued letters from the new nkf too.

even if you want to punish someone, there is a limit. is it fair for people to slap him with so many lawsuits, after destroying his source of income? does he really need to handle so many lawsuits? or are people just trying to get a bit of what he had?(i meant money. not that 5 mins fame crap.) it doesn't make sense, does it? think from his point of view. think from his family's point of view. is there really a need for us to take back what he took from us?

money, can be earned back. if you're talking abt breach of trust, i highly doubt there will be trust after he's broke. and i don't think there was a breach of trust on his part. so wad if nkf was flourishing and had many people donating for it? it's not as if people took guns n pointed at ur temple n told u to donate. you probably donated thinking that it's good karma. well, if what you really wanted to do was to help people, and you tried, does it matter that someone took that money at the end of the chain? why are we judging him when in the end, he will be judged? who are we to kick him around and stomp on him after he fell?

maybe the old nkf management board should be sued, and not just durai alone, since they probably participated in all his deeds. maybe the entire singapore should get sued, for being so retarded, and earning money for t.t. durai. maybe, we'll all realise that law is not created to solve disputes and create harmony amongst people. bur rather, law, is just another reason for us to fighting and hate everyone else.

imagine..stepping out frm a legal theory paper knowing that u've modified many many theories. and in fact..u modified the theories..till u lost track of what u submitted. then realising that sentences following each other actually contradict. and that u prob spent too much time stoning and trying to make sense out of what you'r writing.

but. life isn't bad. legal theory is over. and i am amused by my paper. i will not fail. i will pass. just not a beautiful pass. then again, all my passes were never beautiful to begin with lar. hahahahahaha...LIFE. this is called false optimism. and i will not commit suicide, sammi. i am strong!

I AM SO IN LOVE WITH KWAN SANG WOO. OMGGGGG.

i knew i shouldn't have watched that sad love story show. i knew it! now im bloody hell addicted. ......

HE'S SO CUTE. so wad if he's 30 n 10 yrs older. love transcends age gaps!

the library's turning into a scandalous place.

i think couples should not come here for dates. i mean..no matter how much the guy wants to show how sweet he is, by offering the girl his jacket and making her feel warm (in and out), there is no need to go to a lib.

get a freaking life lar. go to the airport or something and start fantasising about gg overseas together and leave kids alone.

let kids study.

let kids learn.

don't come here and aim to the object of gossip.

right now...i want a slave damn badly. he only has a few things to do really.

1. he should carry my laptop around for me. and the contents of my bag when it's really heavy. my bag should be carried by me.

2. send me around when i'm really really tired.

3. shower me with tubs of rum n raisin.

4. and tau huey, when i want it.

see. such simple wants.

Lord, give me a robot. Please. Amen.

actually, i think this blog is pretty useless. well, unless you include how i entertain ppl via this blog. i don't talk abt how i feel most of the times. it's cos

1. i just can't pinpoint each emotion i feel and describe it accurately.

2. i cannot give a good reason to account for the emotion.

3. i do not happen to like to let every single person who chances upon my blog, or blog hops, or links alllllll around to know my vulnerability.

so to all, who think that my blog is bullshit, well it'll stay that way.
to all who want to konw wads up in my life...try harder.
to all who just can't be bothered, don't be. no one needs u to be.

i'm sad again. cos of wad my fren told me. i'm worried for him. i'm really worried. and this worry for him reminds me of a conversation i had one night.
i was told by another friend, that i need more PR skills.
he told me that i shld learn to listen, and discard and not carry it as a burden.
well. it sounds reasonable.
it does. but it doesn't go with my character.
if i listen, i wanna help.
there is no point in me listening and not helping.
why should i do that.
why should i be so detached?
i dun want to be that detached.
life shouldn't be about getting on with my life, and pretending to be a listening ear to friends.
i guess it's a different way of living.
and if i chose to live mine like him, i can just club my life away and be fucked-up.
but nah. i'm satisfied with my life, albeit it being a bit sad.

to all the lil kids who think u'r frenless. u aren't. im ur fren. hear tt?

i'm currently playing some intelligence game thingy online. so basically, it goes lk:

7 D in a W = 7 days in a week

39 B in the O T = 39 books in the old testament

and i decided to turn to ms isabel lucky ong aka izzy for some help. i mean..she's d nx thing best to a thesarus. and angie was offline watching chicago. HAHAHAHA. but anyhow...let's look at izzy's intelligence level.

9 P in S A = 9 peas in someone's arse.

12 S of the Z = 12 snoozes of the Zzz's monster!

i take my word back about her being the nx best thing to a thesarus when angie's offline. she's officially back to being a dog who has an annual bath. to everyone : my love extends to a smelly fat dog. im such a nice person! i should get a certificate or something!

time's up.

wake up.

wake up

to anyone who cares..

im sad.

cheer me up.

to the world at large:

be proud of me. i'm in d sch lib studying. so wad if i haven't done much today. the point is..i actually trooped to clementi and attempted to study. haaa!

somehow. thinking abt legal theory isn't really gg to solve many many questions in my life. but its okay. at least i feel lk some hardworking smartie. not the chocolate, but someone with a wee bit of intelligence.

roll over and die, you inferior losers whose incompetence can only be matched by your lack of common sense.

okay..so the unknown thing of a huay ching...or as zah lks to call her huay emily rose ching............read the stupid entry during crim law..n decided to snigger cos she realises how ghostly she is! it wasn't really sniggering...it was more lk stifling laughter.

but anyhow...she decided that i should load a pic to show the world that she's merely half a ghostly entity, and is actually, quite capable of showing up completely as a solid in pictures. so there you are, world. the exclusive pic of us making up. HAHHA. n making out.

ohhhhhhhh. life!

i had macs in sch this morning. n this is evidence of how i was discriminated against. my bread is sooooo much smaller than lyn's larrrrrrrrrrr. but its okay. i'm strong. i can withstand such...discrimination.

i told dan i'll load pics that are scarier. seeeeee. huay ching has a fuzzy outline. i suspect i've been talking to some non-existent ... thing. think emily rose. creepy. emily rose huay ching.....

eh anywayyyy...in order to satisfy this...unknown thing of a huay ching...i shall tell the world that i've a 71% win rate at solitaire showdown.
according to lionel chew, some guy will chance upon my blog...n realise my potential for gaming...and then propel me to superstardom in the solitaire showdown realm.
and zah agreed... because she said that Singapore is aiming to be gaming center anyway. I'M SO SURE.

but anyhow. yes. i am THAT loser. to have a 71% win rate at solitaire showdown. omg. i really have nothing better to do than to play online games lar. wth...... my life is really damn sad. i need friends.

i was asked if i was caned before, because it doesn't really make sense for me to be spoilt and bratty if i was actually caned.

for all you kpo & curious kids...i was caned. in fact, i was chased out of my house!

the only reason why i'm so bratty now, is cos i only started whining and demanding AFTER they stop caning me.

i was a guai kid. so they thought i'll turn out meek as a lamb.

tooooo bad. hahahaha..anyway..i've been spoilt by many ppl lar. it doesn't really matter if i was caned.

so to hc n zah..here's my answer as to "jing shldn't be caned wad...else she wouldn't be so spoilt.." haha

somehow..i think i can pass this pic off as a ghostly pic, a homo pic and a dumb pic.

ie. its a dumb ghostly homo pic.

its ghostly..cos u can only see my fren's head at the back. HAHAHAHA but thats all dan..im not saying u look lk a ghost. its just tt..........its only ur head. well...photographic evidence shows that u'r about a head taller...when we bend down.

love- nat king cole.

L is for the way you look at me,

O is for the only one I see,

V is very very extraordinary,

E is even more than anyone that you adore and

Love is all that I can give to you,

Love is more than just a game for two,

Two in love can make it ,

Take my heart yet please don't break it,

Love was made for me and you.

L is for the way you look at me,

O is for the only one I see,

V is very very extraordinary,

E is even more than anyone that you adore and

Love is all that I can give to you,

Love is more than just a game for two,

Two in love can make it,

Take my heart yet please don't break it,

Love was made for me and you.

Love was made for me and you.

Love was made for me and you.

nx, all i need to do is to dedicate the song. maybe to xiao long baos and rum n raisin ice cream!

i did not pay for everything.

i do not care about the money.

i do not need the money back.

i am already disgusted. and i will remain disgusted.

STOP ASKING ABOUT IT. but thanks.

honestly, i wanted to blog one entry with lots of vulgar spewing from it. but i cannot be bothered. cos i realised that i am not angry anymore. and i think its cos i bitched abt it...to sammi, mer and mabs.

but the point is i am no longer angry, but i remain extremely disgusted. imagine looking at a $400 bill, and given $200 by 2/3 of the table. imagine that.

i guess people are gonna say money isn't that important.
fuck you.

i've no money. my family has no bloody money.

and i ended up paying for some fucking bastard who has TONS of money..but just doesn't want to pay.

i ended up paying cos someone was irresponsible enough to stand up and walk off and not pay anything even after that someone made merry.

i ended up learning this extremely expensive lesson. expensive. really expensive. i dun suppose it pricked them at all. i guess this celebration turned damn warped.

law. is such a selfish and vicious faculty. and i despise the kids i ate with today.

i regret being such a brat. now im bloated. damn. i'll repent tmr.

i think it is sad how after rushing out a criminal law essay by 6 pm yesterday, i'm currently stuck doing the memorial rewrite for legal analysis, writing and research.

it's currently known as legal euthanasia.

At this unearthly hour:

1.
Probably after 5 hours after i told sammi that i'm gg to retire frm my owl status. And he actually felt happy for me. So much for retiring into the night early to show my retirement from the owl clan.

2.
The very 1st issue for the bloody crim assignment is half-done. I've 3 blooooooody issues. Bloody. Literally. Well, in the questions, anway.

3.
I realised that i like law a lot. Because i can argue whatever i want, by twisting facts. It's so fun and interesting. And there's this sense of satisfaction after you manage to do so successfully. Of course, the next step is to start reading all my notes and listening in class. One day. One fine day. I'll do so soon.

4.
Comparing hectic schedules aint my cup of tea at all.

5.
Criminal law should not be taught in seminars. They should just dump us on our own, give us cases, hypotheticals and then let us discuss. Come on, i learnt so much more this way.

6.
I think i'm overly ambitious in wanting to submit the assignment on thursday so that i don't have to troop down to clementi on friday. Fearless. Not huo yuan jia.

7.
Candace misses me! Yay.

8.
I think tomorrow's newspaper will have another murder case!

9.
I really want to eat rum and raisin ice cream.

10.
Like how Joseph put it after hearing lj describe my blog, its really full of shit

SOMEHOW. I THINK I'M DOOMED TO HOOT AS AN OWL FOR MY WHOLE LIFE.

HCl~ says:

u really love the art?

jing. says:

of cos

jing. says:

i love the artist more.

jing. says:

hahaha

HCl~ says:

i love the artist too

ahhhhhh...i'm loved.

so...during the journey (yes, journey) i embarked on 1 min ago, from the dining room to my room, i heard a piece of news that stunned me. (for all u stupid ppl, the living room happens to be the place where the bulk of the my journey took place.)

the newscaster went : Now, you can even take books out of the library to read! *beams*

is it just me? or is the newscaster/news room/mediacorp/singapore so bloody retarded that they totally forgot the fact that the purpose of a library is so that one can borrow a book out of the library and read it outside the library?

oh! the stupid things they try to promote for a stupid new building!

the freaking weather is so hot. and im down with flu. and the blooooooody flu is making my nose hurt! i think i shall be renamed as rudolph soon.

i honestly think i'm cursed. 1st the insomnia. now the flu. i think its karma. its time i start attempting to shut up.

it sucks when u feel isolated. and yet contactable. ahhhhh. i shld move to an island. where there's no curse, no contact, and best of all, no flu virus.

admiral kRack - marquee and gazebos says:

ehz, what's up with bulimia and your heart bleeding? come tell me, who break your heart, i break his head.

SEE, PEOPLE! i want more of such stuff. :D shower love on meeeeeee.

my heart bleeds.

but i can't do anything.

today, i made a new choice about the direction of my life.

i shall turn bulimic and start puking. cheeers!

i am anorexic.

today, i had:

1. instant mee

2. guava

3. hot dog roll

4. seafood platter for 1

5. rice with egg with soup with fish

6. papaya.

i obviously failed in my attempt to be struck with anorexia.

let me inform the world abt my latest plans!

1. in order to show how much i learnt from crim law, i shall eat western food. and wait for someone to come up to me n go "EATING AGAIN?" then i'll feel so provoked that i'll use the fork n poke him! and because i tripped, i ended up stabbing him instead. and besides, i'm a short kid. small ppl can get away with many things.

explanation:

a. Provocation is a defense for crimes.

b. as long as the offender is smaller than the deceased, the small offender can get away with many many many many things.

2. i shall wait patiently till kwan sang woo comes around. then i'll splash glue on myself, run into him and stick myself onto him. then i'll be with him for life.

today's the most horrendous day.

i can't believe i woke up at 530 am and couldn't go back to slp after that. and i slpt at 1 am! it's so wrong. i think i've been cursed. no one wakes up at some unearthly hour and stays awake with not more than 5 hrs of slp. omg. who cursed me. who exactly did this.

#101. THE MOMENT OF TRUTH.

nIgHtwnG says:

yes u r jing the goddess

100th post.

boo-boo #1

tw: im hungry. i woke up late and didn't eat anything.

me: im hungry too! but i had lunch!

(after some time)

tw: im hungry!

mer: look who's talking.

me: yahhhhhh...

tw: well...i didn't eat before this..unlike someone who had lunch.........

lesson: NEVER TELL PEOPLE EVERY DETAIL. HALF-TRUTHS WORK JUST AS WELL.

boo-boo #2


ritchie: where are u gg?

me: town!

ritche: taking 143?

me: i dunno..i think it'd take quite long right....

ritchie: good. i dun wan to take the bus with u.

(then he decided to remind me tt im gonna be late. v late.)

ritchie: shopping all the time...when memo is due on sat..

me: what.......well, where are YOU going?

ritchie: home.

lesson: NEVER ASSUME THAT YOU'VE THE UPPERHAND AND BE SMUG, WHEN YOU KNOW THAT RESPONSIBLE PEOPLE EXIST.

boo-boo #3.

after trooping to the toilet in the middle of "fearless", i tried to get back to my seat. only to find that i overshot. and had to turn around and go back down. the movie theater was dark. i was tired. i sheepishly returned to my seat. and realised tt mr tan yanshao was looking at me, walking beyond the row before i turned around and flopped back to the correct row. perfect. well, at least not many ppl were arnd.

lesson: DO NOT DRINK BEFORE AND DURING ANY MOVIE. OR, JUST PEE BEFORE YOU ENTER.

i learnt that

happiness isn't derived from enjoying care and attention, but is generated from the warmth and glow through showering loved ones with concern and support.

question:

if the legal age for engaging in sexual activity is 16, why the hell is the legal age to watch RA show 21?

where's my brokeback mountain and gay cowboyssss...

fucked up.

a certain individual, X, in law school decided to play a game with her shoe today during contract lect! so while she fiddled with her nice black heel, using her fooooooot, the heel decided to entertain her too! so it played hide and seek..or catching. it just totally flopped to the lower step, scaring the random person sitting in front of her. and for a min, i tot she kicked my waterbottle down..hahaha..but no! it was just that her heel played some games with her! smarrrt. hahahahahahaha. man, if you've no idea how much u blushed, u were this red! haha...to think tt contract lect was so interesting that X has to turn to her heel for comfort and entertainment. well done,xiwen. ohh..X. hahahaha

scene: girl 1, with scotchtape. girl 2, just looking. boy 1, with foolscap paper with an elephant design. boy 2, with hairy hands.

action!

girl 1: wax ur hand! (girl 1 sticks scotchtape over boy 2's hand)

boy 1: huh? tt works?

girl 1: no! (takes scotchtape off boy 2's hand at this time and showed that there's nothing.)

boy 1: ahh..chey!

(then some tussle happened!)

girl 1: i wax your elephant! (HEHHH!)

if you dirty-minded fellas thought that girl 1 was talking about *er-hmmmm* penis...you'r wrong! scroll back up n look at the characters' profile. boy 1 has a foolscap pad with an elephant design. just tt it;s not hairy..and it cannot be waxed. so..hey..who knows!

i love this pun! cute huh! if u haven't realised who's girl 2, it's me. i obviously laughed. but i dun think tt's part of the dialogue. there was more dialogue. i have no idea wad really went on. i just rem the waxing part. HAHHAHAHA. i still love u, nikkkkkki.

LAW VS. MORALITY

`- x G [ says:

i shall now give a very complex explanation on law vs moral.
there are laws in morals and there are morals in laws. there are moral laws and there are lawful morals. besides morals, there are corals, which are really a fundamental in marine law. and also, besides law, there is lor. without lor, there is no lor mee. and therefore lor resides in the law of food. law and morals are interlinked.

if i am in a position to grade this argument and supposedly complex explanation, i'm gg to give it a big, fat F. if the author is in law, (and we'll give him an imaginary name, L, to keep his identity safe) L will be booted out.

`- x G [ says:

but whyyyy???

`- x G [ says:

i'm good

`- x G [ says:

admit it

`- x G [ says:

if you say no. you're in self denial

jing says:

deluded souls are pretty dangerous

because your argument and supposedly complex argument is built upon warped reasoning and completely baseless concepts (if there's actually any to begin with), and your links are absolutely ridiculous. but it's okay, L. i do not discriminate agst happily deluded ppl who do not give arguments that make sense, and in fact are often based and cross the fine line between stupidty and insanity. in fact, i like talking to you because of your constant supply of such ...hmmm..interesting (the best way i can put it) conversation. kudos to you. no one does it better than you, L. perhaps except aush. hahahahahahaha.

roy. i gave u half my answer when u asked me if selfish people can learn how to love. i told you that everyone is selfish. and now i tell you that it's tough for selfish people to learn how to love.

i am such a freaking moron. i can't believe i actually read the wrong readings for tmr's legal theory lect. damn smart lar. the 1st attempt at being prepared for lect screwed up because i went to read the wrong articles. OMG! i seriously doubt there is any chance of me being prepared for anything in law. this is such an omen. stab me.

lionel cannot work in china in d future.

jing says:

my msn sucks

`- x G [ says:

ni de msn xi!

it took me a v long time to finally decide upon that. i guess what bugged me 5 mins ago, abt who you are to me, does not matter anymore.

WARNING: READ ONLY WHEN YOU'RE BORED. AS IN, REALLY EXTREMELY BORED TO TEARS. OTHERWISE, DON'T CURSE ME COS I'M GIVING SUCH A LONG ENTRY.

1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?
Tons of things, actually. But the one with the deepest impact in my life is that i played spider solitaire for like, 10 times in a row. So much for having a life. Hahaha..a very fulfilling cyber life.

2. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions and will you make more for next year?
honestly, i can't rem ANY of the resolutions i made for 2005. BUT, i did draw up some pointers for 2006. save this question for next year, i might have a good answer then.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
maybe some mosquitoes. Not that they really gave birth, but they laid some eggs in some pails in one toilet. And i didn't empty the pails, and my mom wasn't around to empty the pails. Sooooo, the mosquitoes laid eggs n fed on me. Bloody suckers. No pun intended.

4.Did anyone close to you die?
the same mosquitoes that bit me? I laid a trap for them! I couldn't sleep cos they were feasting on me, so i actually woke up, covered myself with my comforter, then stuck one leg out as a bait. And that stupid pest fell for it, that sucker. No pun intended, once again. And so i killed it. Oh, by the way, in case you haven't realised, i happily interpreted that “close” was talking about proximity. I refuse to hear otherwise.

5. What countries did you visit?
come to think of it, none. I refused to go Malaysia and China. I might just get bombed anyway. The world cannot stand to lose a talent like me.

6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
oh. Money. Mooooore money. Hahaha..i really lacked money in 2005. thanks to all that shopping trips done. Where i spent 180 in 15 mins. WAD A HORRIBLE EXPERIENCE.

7. What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
oh..i've lots of dates in my head now. Should it be it the day i took my results? Or when i quit from AIA? Or the 3 interviews i went for in order to get into uni? Or when i knew that i could choose whatever course i want? Or my birthday 'cos it was my birthday and i felt lousy? Or my friends' birthdays, cos i specially made presents for them? Or new yr's eve, cos i counted down with the Taiwanese via the satellite and SCV? I'm sorry if you're irritated because of my stupid answers, but this is my blog. Go update your own blog or start yours if you only want to read what makes you happy.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
i dunno. I dun think i had ANY achievement at all. Once again,i put in dismal amount of effort in my studies. No achievement. Wrong question to ask me.

9. What was your biggest failure?
hahahahahahahaha. I don't like this question.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
this is stupid. Who doesn't fall ill in this world? Stupid.

11.What was the best thing you bought?
erm. The laptop? Ahahaha..but it isn't all that great. Maybe its the cheap cloth slippers i bought from bugis. The ones that i can flop around in EVERYWHERE and still feel comfy. They shouldn't have increased the price. Lousy.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
mine. Hahha..don't say i'm egoistic. I am not. I'm merely patting myself on the back for being able to TRY to be happy.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
-censored-

14. Where did most of your money go?
i don't know. It's impossible for me to list out all the restaurants and snack bars i've visited in the year. Or all the shops where i bought all my stuff. But most of my money went OUT OF MY BANK.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
my results cos i wasn't expecting that. I thought i got CDE. Oh, and law's acceptance. Cos EVERYONE thought i wouldn't get in. and to those who decided to tell me that it's tough in law and i should think carefully, please try and forgive me for smirking in your face. Cos that smirk will remain there for the rest of my life.

16. What song will always remind you of 2005?
sorry. Songs do not remind me of the year. Unless the song specifically states 2005.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i) Happier or sadder?
happier. At least lessons are beginning one day later. This time last year, i was probably whining about working at AIA. Make that, definitely.

ii) Thinner or fatter?
shardup.

iii) Richer or poorer?
i'm penniless. What do u think the answer is

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
making friends. I'm friendless.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
honestly, i don't think i should have done less of anything. I'm fine with my very short past and history. I'm NOT referring to my height, or the lack of.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Christmas is over. But, for your information, i had a v merry Christmas.

21. Did you fall in love in 2005?
with myself?

23. How many one-night stands?
i dun understand why this question is ALWAYS haunting EVERY single quiz or questionnaire or whatever.

24. What was your favourite TV program?
oh hahahaha..i actually watch tons of Taiwan variety show. Can't give u the name. I'm shy.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
hate takes up too much of my emotion. It's quite dumb to hate someone, so i've learnt that dislike is good enough. No hate, no hate.

26. What was the best book you read?
Autobiography of a One-year-old. Hahahah..the best i can handle currently.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
as in, of myself? That i can't play any musical instruments? No recorder, no harmonica, no piano. Oh, but my dear lump told me that i've got some uncanny similarities to a violin. Small and whiny. I love you, lump.

28. What did you want and get?
i wanted to be happy. I managed to be quite happy.

29. What did you want and not get?
i wanted to lose weight. Hahaha..and i had buffets, food sprees, and suppers. And more are coming along my way.

30. What was your favourite film of this year?
can't remember any offhand. Apparently none made an impression. Or maybe i'm just too tired now.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
i mourned for myself and i was 19.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
i think this question is ridiculous, and i deem it below my dignity to answer this. There is absolutely no point in thinking what could have been made my year “immeasurably more satisfying”. Just cos the setter of this feels that his/her year was “immeasurably unsatisfying”, i don't find mine in need of a hoist in any area to make it “immeasurable more satisfying”.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?
i honestly don't think i had any. Being someone who travelled from hougang to clementi in shorts, tshirts n slippers, i think the concept is comfort. Not slack. COMFORT. Comfort is key. Like the taxi we always flag down? Okay. That was a bit too random.

34. What kept you sane?
my prayers to God. Thank God.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
i didn't fancy anyone. I laughed at tons tho'

36.What political issue stirred you the most?
i will not comment on any political issue. I'll get sued. Besides, i get stirred up by every political issue. So i'll probably end up typing an essay. And i'm in no mood to type one out. I dun think you're in any mood to read one now. I can't believe u read all the way to this question. This entry's really really long.

37. Who did you miss?
myself. And tons of many others.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
i dunno. There're too many people i'm really thankful to know in law. Really. And i'm thankful for various reasons. Hahaha. Okay. If you don't realise, i'm only trying to shun this question. Stupid lar. Stupid question. I really think setters of questionnaires need more brains.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005
that it takes a lot of effort to choose to smile, and religion helps. Ohh, and that i cannot be a housewife, nor a desk bound office lady. And tauhuey is absolutely fantastic. And i bake nice cookies.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
”i feel like a little girl, trying to conquer the whole wide world” little superhero girl, by Corrine May. Talented singer with a beautiful voice. I attempted to screech along to her songs, and decided that i shouldn't mar them. Maybe, i still am a little girl who wants to conquer the whole wide world.

i realised tt in thanking God for every little detail in my life every night before i slp, i go to bed as a happier person. perhaps, this is what Christianity is all about. to allow one to choose positive emotions over negative ones. i think in the last few months, i've grown to be more positive. despite me being all cynical and moody, at least i've learnt to laugh at certain things and not let it drag me down all d way to d pits.

thank God.

i've just been told that i'm TANTRUM-Y. just cos i insisted tt my hair is nice and i dun care, cos i think its nice. hahahahha..i lk tt. tantrum-y. wad a nice word to replace spoilt. nice euphemism.

some things nv change. and i think it's time for me to realise that it will NEVER change no matter how hard i try. but this is not the reason for my heavy mood. i just can't figure out why i feel so down. im not even sad. im just down.

on a side note, tho' def not happier, i don't mind dying young. its d 2nd day of the new yr. and all i see frm news happen to be abt more deaths frm bird flu, flash flood, bushfire, beheading of soldiers etc. so, tell me a reason why i shld try and live a long life!

i wanna go learn dancing!

n i think my lappy's "a" key is broken.

i think it's funny how i laugh over my cynicism.

how it seems as if some stuff don't bother me anymore.

how it seems as if guys -- married or otherwise, cheating are nothing to me.

how it seems as if it's natural for me to realise, in less than 2 decades on Earth, that love does not last.

how it seems as if it's fine for me to notice that the fear of disappointing FRIENDS is something that is apparent in every decision made. when that shld NOT be the case.

how it seems as if it's normal for everyone to be selfish. less selfish and not more selfless. it's playing with words. but it's true.

quite sad. to be jaded at age 19. sad how i laugh despite saying cynical stuff. sad how i'm amused and happy when i shld be solemn n upset. heck. THE WORLD DOES NOT TELL ME HOW TO LIVE. OR HOW TO BEHAVE AND FEEL. THE WORLD CAN JUST GO EAT SHIT AND DIE. dun be mistakened. im actually in a good mood now.

i had a nightmare. i dreamt tt my mom passed away. in my dream, i sent a sms tt said "this pain is 100 times worse than how i imagined it to be." it really hurt. i woke up with a pain in my chest. bleah. i hope nothing happens.

posingggg..hahaha...i really lk to take pictures! izzy knows that! don't u, izzy?!? anyway..i really enjoyed tonight. altho it was at tamp. and i hate tamp. cos its damn crowded. n i hate crowds. but i'm still happy! yay! cheers! to us. and camera phones! hahahahaha

whoever says that lump and i look alk obviously hasn't seen izzy n i. check out the twinny-ness! harrr

true telepathic moment: when u meet ur dear friend only to find her wearing the exact same top u'r wearing. how cool huh! see d a101 shirts! woooo hoooo. the only cool thing part is how we wore the same shirt. not the shirt.

we wish you a merry christmas
we wish you a merry christmas
we wish you a merry christmas
and a happppppppppy new year!

this is stupidity at its max.

i cannot believe i pretended tt i was holiday-ing when i was supposed to be studying for the papers.(okay..i did tt..but..at this current moment, i deeply regret doing tt). i shldn't have watched wadever i watched when i shld be studying! oh no! i dun want to fail any module n end up retaking it nx yr! i dun want to be kicked out! why do i want results when i didn't put in effort? OH NOOOOOOOO.......

OH NO.

am listening to "imagine me without you" by jaci velasquez. n i just wondered why love songs are all abt how i can't lose you. what abt YOU not being able to lose ME? what abt how indispensible i am, instead of you being all the important? hmmmmm....ego ego. ahahahaa

this is an ugly picture of my nice coin pouch.

to everyone, it looks lk a fortune cookie.

to mr tan zheng roy, it looks lk "a really really huge five-stone."

smarrrrrrt.

i'm 19 years old.

i'm a big girl.

and big girls don't cry.

right?

right.

big girls don't cry.

the dark is too soothing to be real.

big girls don't cry.

big girls don't cry.

if i do get married, the person will definitely NOT be lk my dad.

(to all: for a clearer picture, please read the part 1 to this entry, which is in xue ping's blog..and obviously, if u are one of those who go thru life without using ur brains, let me tell u tt u shld go click under "xueping" in d links.)

Dear christine lump xue ping, in view of the accusations thrown onto me, i guess it's time for me to start clarifying my stand and explain it, instead of giving the supposedly “flimsy excuses”.

1.
is it my fault that the weather was hot? I whined. Yes. I whined that the weather was unbearably hot. I whined that i am NOT going to play tennis in such weather. Heck, i don't even play tennis to begin with. Then again, i do not believe that my whines are THAT powerful, to stop you from playing tennis. I might be important in your life, where i can make my views known without thinking too much and you won't be offended, but i doubt i'll be so influential that i can stop you from doing something you love. I couldn't stop lionel. Even after you joined me (note: YOU JOINED me) in whining, lionel played with the wall. Quite weird, but yeah, mr chew played with the wall. So, i did not jinx your attempt to play tennis. I merely became a convenient thing for you to attribute your failed attempt to.

2.
You wanted to play badminton with clare, and asked me along, which i very enthusiastically agreed. I mean, afterall, there's no sun in a badminton hall. But being the smart person you are, you chose to play tennis on a PUBLIC HOLIDAY. Tell me, which PUBLIC sports complex is open on a PUBLIC HOLIDAY. In fact, it was d NATIONAL DAY. Why do i remember? Cos i was in a red shirt, and i spotted many ppl in red shirts tt day due to the national day carnival that was held in tampines. I want to add that although we did not manage to play badminton in the courts tt day, clare and i played outside the hall. I've a picture as evidence. Ask me for it. While YOU sat down on a bench and whined and suggested a pigging out session at pizza hut! So, who jinxed this attempt?

3.
Someday, i'll be extremely thankful towards you for thinking that i am so influential, great, important and almighty that i can control the weather. Maybe what you said was true! Maybe due to my laziness, i managed to gather the dark clouds together on that morning when we planned to cycle(it was 9th december, by the way. Quite recent). Maybe my desire to sleep in was so strong that it brought down rain. Maybe all my decisions will be reflected in the day's weather! Maybe. Just maybe. Or maybe, my dearest friend decided to push all the blame to me once again. you just forgot about how i probably wasn't THAT influential and that i was actually QUITE excited abt cycling. Just maybe.

My love for u runs deep. It's so deep that i do not mind u accusing me without justified claims and giving baseless conclusions without any strand of proper evidence or concrete examples that i managed to control the weather, the public amenities and your behaviour. Don't worry. I do not discriminate against people who cannot prove, beyond reasonable doubt, that their claims are justified and supported.

Love, jing.

KERSHYA WONG SU LING.

i love you. to bits. haha. thanks for today. i'm really really happy. u made me smile. and laugh. and feel extremely happy. even tho all we did was eat, rot, saunter arnd and take pics. which is wad we ALWAYS do anyway. i love you. i'm going to soak up all your time before you return. cos u always succeed in making my day.

i've been pondering really hard over what i was told. I feel lk some confused little kid, who's quite deprived at the same time. Then again, don't bother asking me what i'm confused about, because like what i told Lionel, i'm actually quite confused about what i'm confused about. This might not make sense, but it's true. I don't know how to put it down in words properly. This confusion might not end soon. It keeps recurring. But i'll understand it all soon. I hope. I mean, afterall, i managed to figure a little bit out last night. Confusion confusion. I wonder if Confucious was confused in his life. HA! Okay. Couldn't resist that last bit. Just ignore it.

*disclaimer.
1) it's not in chronological order
. 2) don't read if u didn't spend any part of the day with me. it'll bore u to death. cept d 1st 2.
3) don't assume tt im talking abt you, unless i state ur name. nooo hinting in my blog.
4) fishermen village has bad dinner. the ambience doesn't make up for it at all. thank goodness there was good company. okay. this isn't really a disclaimer, but i felt lk putting this down.*

today...i saw humans who behaved lk monkeys. i doubt i will ever forget how the woman picked at the man's zits. i mean, it's something to be done at home, not in the mrt, with everyone staring at you. maybe they'r havin an affair, so they've no home to return to for zit-picking. u know how monkeys pick each other's lice? yeah..tt's the image tt'll remain etched in my mind. cept that it was really zits, and not lice. and tt one had long hair. and tt it was on d face, and not d back. and tt they were really humans, and not monkeys.

today...i saw a guy with really really ugly hair. hair so ugly, im amazed he actually took time to style it. he might as well go to some makeover show and let them cut his hair n attempt to make him look better. maybe he was hoping for that. well, in any case, he needs more than a makeover to look good. he needs plastic surgery. he also needs to learn to smoke properly, facing the direction d wind is blowing, cox he stank. and since he stinks, he shld learn how to sit properly too. i've never sat tt close to anyone on the mrt before. it's quite scary. he's got ugly hair. he stinks. he can't speak. and he sat too close.

today...i watched "a twist of fate". it's a really good musical. it's a really fresh change from the usual fluffy musicals singapore theatre puts up. and it's a very impressive attempt at adopting such a classic story into local context. but, the only problem was that, the musical ended a bit late. which means, tt i was late in meeting angie n sammi. and this translated into how we were all late in meeting clar, lump, izzy and apple. then we, all 7 of us, had roy waiting for us for errrr...hahaha..i've no idea how long. more than an hour i think. just cos of tt musical! but it was worth it. i'm sorry, roy. but it was a real good musical. hahaha

today...i ran from esplanade to city hall. after i ran to some weird shop to get a box that i dun even see d need for. but i'll turn it into something useful, like how i attempt to make expensive stuff useful. somehow. and that was only after i went to get nice lil toy figures! har har. i got the toy figures before the play. n i lk them. i've half a mind to keep them for my own. they're really cute. and they'r great decoration. hmmm! maybe i really shld keep them. afterall, they'r MY fave cartoon characters. well, at least if the thing's rejected, i can keep it. yay.

today...i found out tt going out in a big group, someone will feel wrong. not sad. but wrong. just not happy. God probably did help to build up my sensitivity. but i guess i need more work. but not to the extent, where i tear every single moment. the moment of unhappiness might just be a result..of nature. it's probably just the politics of human nature. that we'll feel sian after a while of nothing-ness in a group, unless u'r involved in that bout of nothing-ness. and tt sian-ness shows. and not surprisingly, it only goes off aft someone realises it.

today...i realised tt i really am a psychic! there were many many telepathic moments! and the major major telepathic moment was when i realised that i intended to give someone a gift he gave me. which, by the way, wasn't really snail-mailing tau huey, cos even if dhl sent me the tau huey in an hr, i'd be quite disgusted. well, anyhow, the other telepathic party decides tt he doesn't really want to be telepathic with me. soooo, its okay. i shall just continue having my telephone parties (telepathy. telephone parties. telepathy party. get it?) with lump.

oh oh, if sammi and lump look alk, and i look lk lump, what do we arrive at? if u think that it just means that i look lk sammi. u'r wrong. u'r really wrong. it just means that lump has a common face. HAHAHAHAH. but i still love u, lump.

maybe its just me. but my bdays seem to get worse by the year.

i saw my cousin's christmas list on his blog. so i decided to write down my bday wish list. HINT!

i want my mickey mouse phone.

i want some rich boyfriend to buy me that mickey mouse phone. which just means i want tt phone.

and since im dreaming..i might as well ask for a better brain so tt i'll pass contract this fri.


if u get me any of this..i'll do you a big favour n stop irritating u for the rest of my life.

a sign of how navy killed roy's sanity.

admiral kRack - yesterday, today and everyday. says:

reach me via my secetary at 97941418. (it's my double role you see, i'm schizo, it makes me feel important) hahahaha

dun worry roy..i still love you.

yeah well..i was supposed to be studying for sls..but i got into a convo abt religion. n i just want to record it down.

i think religion is a way of life. because it involves beliefs. only when you believe in your God, then it is possible for you to turn to your God for help. with belief, there's conviction in your prayers. with conviction, there's consolation, comfort and answer.

religion's definitely more than an avenue where you dump your pain, sorrows, fear and worries on your God. it's a constant assurance that you've protection and love from someone Almighty and that everytime you need Him, He'll never desert you. Not many people can give you that assurance. maybe parents. then again, that is why we call Him Father, isn't it.

i lk how they lock eyes and break into smiles. cause it's instantaneous. and real (despite the obvious fact tt its reel). and extremely extremely sweet. just one look to say it all.

im stuck in that fairytale. and i dun see d need to get out of it.

today..i found out that i've something new in my possession. i've a pepper spray. my mom bought it for me because of the stupid research binder. i've been coming home VERY VERY late daily..n that was why she bought the pepper spray for me. amusing. but very heartwarming.

and i've to record this reaction down. or better yet, as zah says, immortalize it.
"she thinks ppl are into kids nowadays?" thanks, best fren. thank you v much.

the day i think i might actually be better off dead.

"Bad Day" Daniel Powter (too apt)

Where is the moment we needed the most

You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

They tell me your blue skies fade to grey

They tell me your passion's gone away

And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low

You're faking a smile with the coffee to go

You tell me your life's been way off line

You're falling to pieces everytime

And I don't need no carryin' on

Cause you had a bad day

You're taking one down

You sing a sad song just to turn it around

You say you don't know

You tell me don't lie

You work at a smile and you go for a ride

You had a bad day

The camera don't lie

You're coming back down and you really don't mind

You had a bad day

You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday

The point is they laugh at what you say

And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day

You're taking one down

You sing a sad song just to turn it around

You say you don't know

You tell me don't lie

You work at a smile and you go for a ride

You had a bad day

The camera don't lie

You're coming back down and you really don't mind

You had a bad day

(Oh.. Holiday..)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink

And the whole thing turns out wrong

You might not make it back and you know

That you could be well oh that strong

And I'm not wrong

So where is the passion when you need it the most

Oh you and I

You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day

You're taking one down

You sing a sad song just to turn it around

You say you don't know

You tell me don't lie

You work at a smile and you go for a ride

You had a bad day

You've seen what you like

And how does it feel for one more time

You had a bad day

You had a bad day

Had a bad day

Had a bad day

Had a bad day

Had a bad day

Had a bad day

the feeling is back to haunt me.

i do not like it.

at all.

i cannot believe im up now despite slping at 5.30 am this morning. i dun lk it.

because of my tutor's overfertile mind, i'm bound to the binder (yes. pun meant) for abt a month. but, i've only really started doing this crap for the past 2 days. in fact, i've been staying up till past 3 am for the past 2 nights. the lack of slp, irregular mealtimes, trees murdered to print the cases, ink wasted and the strain that my eyes are open to. just for a fictional character. a fictional character who should have just stayed inside my tutor's head, instead of popping out and destroying our lives.

3 months into school. and i feel as if i've never done more work in my life. well. i really haven't done more work in my life than the past 3 months. i'm gg for a ko shinbo buffet aft the presentation to reward myself for surviving this nonsense. then i'm gg to slp. slp slp slp. till tues. wake up. n try to do contracts tut. sigh. n my pooor lappy is overriden with viruses. kill me.

by the way. happy halloween. i'm sure the faculty will have a successful halloween party. school later will prob be overflowing with pandas.

i want to talk abt how i feel. i want to let someone know that i'm not happy.

but i dunno how to explain how and why i feel this way. and i don't think i shld go disturb ppl just like tt.

this dilemma is making me crumble. in every single way.

exciting day today. had a virus. freaking trojan. and my fren got rid of it for me! yay. haha..
if u need my fren n his cool anti-virus, come look for me k..i'll tell him!

i realised that before i msg anyone (frm my fac), many many questions go thru my mind. "is that person busy?" "will i be disturbing that person?" "should i try asking a qns?" "will they be irritated with what i have to say?" yadda yadda. often, this results in me not msging them. oh well.

on a bright note. celebrated n feasted on fri night with the fellow pigs. for their bdays. gave apple n lump a notebook each. i will ALWAYS rem how i was asked "you're giving your friends NOTEBOOKS for their bdays?" but hey. i wrote something for them. meaningful, or not, is one question. but at least, i wrote abt things we ALL could identify with. it's our secret! ahaha. ehh..thanks zah. for the contribution of nice markers. we are all eternally grateful. really.

oh. fish & co swordfish collar is extremely oily. every bite i take, oil SPILLS out. i've no idea how come a tiny piece of fish manages to conceal so much oil. gross. i basically left the swordfish collar to be mutilated by izzy while we waited for apple.

and i guess i really do look as if i have an attitude problem. or just in a really bad mood. perpetually. not that i care. oh oh. and lump made a collage for me. (she's not tt artistic. she just has a good prog for managing pictures) and i really like it! it's currently my wallpaper! and i realised tt if i actually use her com, i might feel as if it's mine, given the number of pictures of me she has inside. maybe she's stalking me! or maybe d 3 of us just happen to go out together all the time. lump, me and best fren, whom we lovingly nicknamed cammie. no outing is complete without him. d day technology becomes indispensable has arrived. it's no longer just part of our lives. it becomes indispensable. and to think we decided to make some techonological stuff our best fren. but he's a smart techo piece! and the name is damn apt.

with the recent reports on how natural disasters hit and destroyed every countries, from the richest US to the poorest Paskistan,i think it is quite obvious how ironies scream frm the reports.

US was hit by Katrina.
Pakistan was destroyed by that earthquake.

US is supposed to be a liberal, established, civilised and well-educated country.
Pakistan remains to be a 3rd world country - poor, impoverished and undeveloped.

New Orleans, after being destroyed by Katrina, ended up with fresh new reports on how there was looting, plundering and a total state of lawlessness.
Kashmir, however, generated reports on how strangers have been helping others selflessly, like how one guy piggybacked an old woman with a crushed pelvic bone to a hospital that requires 3 hrs of walking.

maybe it's only cause ppl in Pakistan are used to hardships(as quoted by sammi. or he insisted that i copied from him. here, i gave credit to you now..happy? cont loving my blog's font k). or maybe they just know how to appreciate the lives they almost lost.

don't read if you don't like to hear me whine.

given my penchant to sneak into blogs and start peeking into the bloggers' lives, i've decided that maybe it's time for me to start writing and conversing in proper english. i realise that the standard of my english, both written and oral, is on a downward spiral. and trust me, the slope is pretty steep. once again, i wonder if i chose the wrong course. i KNEW that i was not competent enough, not disciplined enough, not proficient enough in my language, and not smart enough. and now i KNOW that i will never be.

maybe i'm just stuck in this rut where all i can do, and all i want to do is to pity myself. maybe i'm just trying to invite sympathy frm anyone who actually does give a shit about me. self-pity or inviting pity? i don't care. of course, people say that the competition is within yourself and do not compare yourself to others. but it's difficult. not when you know that you're probably at the bottom rung of the cohort, and know that your language and linguistic skills can NEVER match up to others. and especially not when you know that while those in the fac who study happen to have brains (what a coincidence), those who do not study just happen to have MORE brains (another uncanny coincidence). but i guess there is always this small little category somewhere around, where the students who do not study happen to have no brains. and i just happen to have this naggy feeling that i fit in that category.

it's so tough not to compare yourself to others, because you know that if you do not do that, you will never know your flaws, and start working on them. it's tough because you know that you are constantly being compared to others. it's tough because you know that others are constantly comparing you. it's tough because i no longer get average results without putting in any effort. i get mediocre results. it's tough. so why do i insist on lying to myself, saying that it does not matter. my results do not matter. my stupidity does not matter. because it does.

the erosion of my confidence has just started. i don't think it's going to end anytime soon.

okay. got my test back. i didn't fail it. got a B. despite not studying! HA!

and i got my rewrite back too. i got a c. i'm a freaking straight c student for LAWR.

and my sch internet connection keeps screwing up.

didn't read my lect notes, so i've absolutely no idea wad my lecturer is discussing with the rest. not that i care. except for the rumour that the test has been changed from a 24 hrs test to a 3 hrs test. ughs. stab me.

in a good mood today.

didn't do tut, but escaped since i wasn't called to ans qns.

wore a nice happy top. okay..the nice top made me happy, tts y its a nice happy top.

decided on which birki to buy finally. after a night of struggling with my inner desires, i'm gg to get the sweet one.

which reminds me. my fren said tt i look sweet. yays.

and i decided that there's no need for me to pretend tt i'm paying attn today, afterall, i was called on tues.

good day. good mood.

hope it won't be destroyed.

i've been blog searching. you know, just going google, and typing some words that allow me to sift thru tons n tons of blogs. n i found many blogs. too fruitful a result. and it scares me.

the fact tt i found so many blogs. and how i could actually read what they'r thinking. or rather, what they are telling ppl. it's really freaky. i felt like i was...tampering with the unknown. and it is the unknown. just not all that ghostly thing. ughs. scary scary.

i wonder why poeple started searching for blogs. i searched because it was mentioned. i think someone else searched to check for his students' opinions on him. n he found out how he was nicknamed outside class. n actually had the cheek to ask her. hahahahahahaha..joke. hahah!

the accessibility of things online. too accessible.

just read the papers. the govt is planning to stop subsidising foreign workers in health care and all. they claim that they'r still reviewing. but we all know that in the end, the subsidy will stop. and i understand why. i do realise that the cost of subsidising the foreign workers add up to a v high bill. prob a tad too high to the govt. but the article talked abt how this bangladeshi worker earns $27 despite an 11-hr shift daily. a trip to the polyclinic takes $8. but a trip down WITHOUT subsidy, or going to a pte clinic, i think his day's earnings will be gone. it doesn't make sense that brats like us who get to spend more than $50 a day actually cont getting susidies, while they, despite being the ones doing the basic and necessary jobs in singapore, have to stop enjoying the subsidies even tho all they earn is prob arnd $30. we spend more than they earn in a day. we live off their hard work. and all we can do is to say that they'r taking jobs away from us, they'r taking resources away from us, and that they're a threat to us. which is weird. cox i dun ever recall hearing anyone saying that they want to be construction workers. or that they earn less than foreign workers, but work harder than them. in fact, it is recognised that crimes in singapore are mostly committed by.......*surprise surprise* singaporeans. i don't happen to think that foreign workers want to risk getting sent home and not earning money for their families, just to touch a girl's butt. maybe there'r some perves arnd, but they'r a minority. in fact, more singaporeans hanker aft girls' butts than foreign workers.

i will not pretend that i agree with the main reason for the detraction of subsidies for foreign workers. cox i think that the $18 million the govt pays for them annually for subsidising them in polyclinics, cannot and will not exceed how the foreign workers contributed to singapore (reports stated that foreign workers contributed to 41% of national growth in singapore in 1990s). and i don't think it'd be wise to ignore the fact that the singapore govt is rich. maybe they've other painful, heart-felt reasons, but i doubt it. i dun see why expats are given far better treatments, when it's not even proven that they actually do contribute to singapore's economy or society. they'r all foreigners, aren't they? they'r just rich enuf to buy a condo, eat at Olio Dome, and have girls hankering aft them instead. so is that why there's a discrepancy in the service and attitude they get? cox money and power attracts? they don't need subsidies. they can afford the best services available anywhere with that 6-figure pay they get monthly. the foreign construction workers NEED subsidies. their monthly pay will NOT EVER exceed 3 figures. never. ever. i don't see the need to start worshipping the foreigh construction workers, but i think it's time they get their recognition and appreciation. they left their families, to slave away for long hours, and get paltry pays. just for their families. singapore boasts to be a world-class city. yet policy decisions and govt bills are issued based on money issues. yet we're all so narrow-minded that the moment we see bangladeshi workers, we shun them( i don't deny doing that). yet we never appreciated and gave gratitude to those people who did all the shit work that we feel that we'r OVERQUALIFIED to do. so much for bring a world-class city. maybe world-class in hypocrisy.

disclaimer: these are MY opinions. never meant to defame anyone or offend anyone. have been taught to add a disclaimer given the recent spate of bloggers who are held liable for defamatory remarks. and the cases studied that show disclaimers work.

had my 1st law test today. and i predicted correctly. medical negligence and nervous shock. and being the very smart me.....i did NOT study. not that i dun want to. but i seriously couldn't take it. i was too tired............... hais. this always happens. i ALWAYS predict correctly but i ALWAYS dun study them. ughs. the horrible repetition of my sad life. im so gg to fail everything. my nx entry will prob be abt the test....HAIS!

i hate it when they want us to act. i hate it. it defeats the entire purpose of a family gathering. why shld i put up a show just so that they can get ratings? what do i gain? no benefits for me. at all. i don't mind getting together with my family. i love it when we get together and make senseless noise. when those older than me end up swinging toy swords with those much younger than me. but it's private. it's family. sitting together, gathering, talking, smiling and laughing in front of the cam...is what it is. acting. cause, yes, we do sit together, gather, talk, smile and laugh arnd the table...but we'r not fake. normally. i won't say the same for today.

today. everything. is. fake.

what. is. captured. on. the. cam. is. merely. the. director's. imagination.
the. cameraman's. handiwork.
the. image. of. an. ideal. family.
the. lies.

i cried. in public. i cried while walking. nothing was on my mind at tt time. all i knew was that i m crying, and how wonderful it'd be if i was home, snuggled under my comforter, and in my comfort zone. i'm up and abt since morning on a wrong day. too wrong a day.

maybe the reason y i cried was cox i was bugged by some hantu arnd. or maybe, it was just the frustration i felt at tt moment, and the fatigue finally getting to me. i'm in mid-sem. having mid-sem break. which basically means i'm lagging by half a sem. normally, when i'm lagging behind in work, i'm not tired physically. i used to have a good time resting (ie not doing anything) AND still be in sync in sch. now, i'm tired cox i lack slp and my brain is not working. i zone out for every single min. i really need rest. a day when i dun need to rush for time.

i don't like how i was dumped in nowhere just for your convenience. do i really mean so little to you? even tho i pushed back everything for you?

i know tt i'm seen as a cocky bitch.
to those who r fine with me being that: you shld have seen me at the moment when i was lost, sobbing n stripped of my confident facade. you wouldn't know me.
to those who totally detest me for being tt: you would have savoured tt moment. the moment when a cocky bitch realises that she has not done anything worthy in this life and that she has absolutely nothing to be cocky or bitchy abt.

to lump. i hope i didn't freak you out too much by calling you n crying. i just tot of u at tt moment.

to izzy. thank you v much. u'r one of the few reasons y i miss mjc. at least i know my moments in mjc weren't really ALL useless.

to beat. i love you too. u brought a smile back.

to my dad. not that he'll see this, but i've to say this. he's THE only person in this world who will actually stop all tt he's doing just to get back home frm town even tho he was busy n far frm town. he's THE only person in this world who will throw everything away just because i cried. he's THE only person i know who will sacrifice everything for me. (otherthanmymom)

all those who actually bothered to read thru everything, in all appreciation n love, here's a pic of my dad n mom. not the most flattering, but its d only one in my lappy. he's the one who gave me tt genes, making me short, fat and ugly. and because he gave me tt genes, his love for me is unconditional. and all i return are demands for money, cries for help and frequent displays of unhappiness. he's my old man. he's the man.

my eyes hurt frm crying. but i can't stop my tears.

on d day i decided that contract law lect is really nowhere as impt as my slp (i.e. when i finally decided to skip the stupid lect), i was woken up at 8 plus by smses. 2 smses. one aft the other. n my phone was on d loudest volume. how freaking smart. so altho i tried to ignore the 1st noise, the 2nd noise still woke me up. but, it wasn't tt bad afterall. cox i woke up to find one sms frm fun saying tt she misses me (here you are, fun! the entry abt u missing me!). hahaha..a good way to wake up. i mean, not the being harrassed by nokia msg tone at the loudest vol part, but the realisation tt someone misses me today part. ahaha..and yes, i miss you too.

i don't know. sometimes when ppl tell u tt they miss you, does "i miss you too" sound too patronising? but yeah, tt series of sms-es aft the "i miss you" one seriously makes me realise tt i miss fun. i miss mjc. not the sch. but the friends. and the stupid things we do. and the stupid things we SEE others do. and the unkind laughter thrown at those morons. (okay, so maybe only apple n i gave the unkind laughter. most of the time.) haha..i miss all the times we spent stoning n making senseless noise. and i miss dancing stupid dances with fun in d middle of nowhere, while loitering arnd. tt stupid spoof "girls n boys" mv frm good charlotte. *clap clap*. hhaha...okay. private joke there. hahaha...tt was really dumb. hahah..and how fun pointed at the sun's reflection in the bus's window n went "EH wah! the sun so nice!!" bimbo moment. ahhahaha...the worst one. so kershia, don't worry..i've got a fren whose one bimbo moment equates to 2 bimbo moments of urs.

i wanna go back to mjc. minus lessons. and teachers. n lai lai. everything'd be good. and since i'm so happy dreaming, i wanna go back to cedar too. when i EXERCISED. ahhhhh..those were d days...

somehow, school ended up being reduced to comparisons. which school gives the most work? which faculty is more taxing? which module requires more attention? which assignment is more important?

somehow, the only topic of conversation nowadays zero in on how we r struggling in our respective schools, drowning in the huge stacks of reading, overwhelmed by the assignments that are thrown at us, staggering cox of the projects given within a month of sch.

somehow, conversations do not deviate from school.

somehow, school became "who whines more".

somehow.

ouch

tt pang i felt.

stupidity.

i feel stupid. because of you.

don't come up to me and tell me now that studying in law doesn't give me a future. then tell me that since school just started, i can just change faculty now. i just bought the books. the books tt cost a bomb. i'm in law and i'm going to finish it. i'm going to finish it and manage a career to show you that being a legal advisor is not all that bad afterall. don't tell me that i can choose to go FASS to major in econs or to go Biz Ad. i've nothing against both. i just don't relish the idea of having such a general degree. then end up not using what i learnt in my uni years at all. i've already put myself thru years of integration and differentiation. if i choose to do something unlaw after law, at least i know that what i learn in law is extremely useful to me in whatever i do next time.

don't keep telling me that i've made the wrong choice. you've been telling me this when i said i wanted to do communication studies. "wrong choice. saturated market." tell me which market in singapore isn't saturated. tell me which one? why do you keep saying that i've made the wrong choice? what's so good about having a FASS or Biz Ad degree? because they're general and flexible? but i don't want flexibility. i want to learn something useful. something that is actually worth learning. no offense, but i don't like it. every choice i made is wrong to you. yes. i did put law down as a joke. but i got in. and i chose to enter law. so live with it. at least i know that i made this choice. and didn't alter it according to your wishes.

i know you care for me. thank you. but there're still things that i don't need to hear from you. and i mean never. i live with my choices. you can choose to accept it or ignore it. just don't tell me such errant bullshit. because i don't buy it.

oh look! another useless sentence in the book! (refer to previous post) all within 10 mins. smartttt.

"depending on the situation, rule proof and rule application can be very short, very long, or somewhere in between"pg 111

"The law does not create rules for the fun of it" pg 102 'legal reasoning and legal writing' by neumann.

what an inspiring thought. what an enlightenment. the one sentence that just cleared up the mess in my head. law is serious. everyone who reads this entry shall, from now on, be aware that law is not fluff. law isn't all that cloudy stuff that just pops into the judges' minds while they munch on lays potato chips. no judge will be snacking and then suddenly say "hey! i should write a law about defamation! just in case someone comes along and starts labelling me as a fat loser, i've a rule on my side that will help me win a case against that guy!!" law isn't interesting. no matter how silly the case seems, there'll always be that oh-so-serious rule that will drag us back to reality and remind us that law is not fun. it's law. it's serious.

that line from my textbook helped me this much. in realising that law is serious. (like who the heck didn't know that). i hope it helped you too. oh yeah. to all those deluded souls who aspire to study law, and want to buy their own textbooks, this is how useful the textbook is. all for a grand sum of $70+++.

please do not take me seriously. i was joking. i love law. love it to bits. even though i'm falling aslp for all my lectures. attending tutorials with an empty mind. and struggling with all the assignments, readings and what-have-yous. i love law. though it's killing me. killing me softly!!!! i see myself dying a slow, painful, horrible death.

vs is gg to be a co-ed sch?!? lk wad. i mean..this is destroying the entire sch culture. it's lk cedar admitting guys in. i dun lk the idea. cox i think vs guys actually do have this..i dunno..aura? haha..this behaviour and attitude that differentiates them frm the others. i do not lk the sch. but i detest the idea of them turning into co-ed. how gross. destroying the sch. ridiculous. no wonder the vs ppl, ex and current, are making so much noise abt it. such stupid decisions ppl make. ugh. poor vs. i hope this stupid idea doesn't pull thru.

well, one thing i dun understand, is how assignments will be given without deep, insightful explanation of how it shld be done. i mean, if i know how to write a case summary, i wouldn't be in d class now, would i?

well..just back from the corrine may concert. man. she's so talented. tt $25 i paid was, in my opinion, way underpriced. i felt as if i was there for a $250 performance. haha..okay. maybe not THAT ex, but it was that good. really fantastic. i'm so glad i went. n i took so many pics of her. tho i did end up taking a pic of someone's chest..but..its okay. i still took pics of corrine may. she's pretty! hahah..and talented! and then, some guy took pics of us taking pics of corrine may. haha..cool. of cux, i still think lump shld have shouted "corrine corrine" so tt i could take a nice pic of her face, but..nvm. hahaha..our plan to pretend to be her friends. hahaha...anyway, to those poor kids who missed her concert...YOU SUCKERS. you shld have went. really.

I'M FRIENDLESS IN MY TUTORIAL GROUP. DAMN IT.

well..since im free now and not too tired, i decided to talk abt orientation. haha..not that it was extremely fun, but it's not entirely stupid and useless either. i mean, i did meet the peeps. not that i know all of them, but hey, at least i manage to find some nice souls who r willing to hear me whine all day long. hahaha..okay. maybe its just tt they haven't spent enuf time with me yet to be irritated.

1st day gave me blisters. diana's shoes just killed my feet. killed them bigtime. they'r still rotting now, actually. haha..but the shoes r really nice. just another of those..pretty useless shoes..hahaha..thanks diana! as in, really thanks. for lending me the shoes so late at night. n i had to walk home bare-footed cox i really couldn't stand it.

2nd day did flag day. im not proud of this, but my tin wasn't even one-tenth filled. not that i didn't try. i did! but ppl just averted their gaze..looked at the ground and shunned us. or they just point at me and tell me tt they've already donated. no, i'm sorry, they shouted to tell me tt. i wonder why. well, luckily for me, i was with ppl whose tins weighed arnd mine. hahaha..

then it was some loser mardi gras crap which determined whether or not we get to buy 2nd hand books. and just as i expected, we were one of the last few to go in. so i decided to buy new books. oh..and i bought one 2nd hand book which was useless, and some ass decided tt i didn't pay for it, cox its not signed, and brought me to 2 other asses. and they made me stand there for such a long time, while the 3 morons tried to figure out wads wrong. was it tt i didn't pay? or was it tt i dun want to pay? yeah. they nv tot that they were at fault. tt they didn't record down and didn't sign. the idea of them screwing up and not being efficient NEVER EVER occured to them. so they had to piss me off till i ended up shouting at them. i didn't want to. but my emotions overpowered my senses. what the fuck is wrong with them anyway.

intro lect n beach bash. lect was pure bullshit, but it made me realise tt i better slp early frm now on, else i'll have a really difficult time struggling to stay awake. beach bash. well. not tt i took part in the games v enthusiatically, but it was quite fun, i guess. haha..the highlight was, obviously, the pretty boys segment. they'r draggies. and boy, are they skanky. goodness. so crude k. hahaha..but funny, nonetheless. oh well. think i shld change. time for me to change.

oh..and i realise tt a lot of ppl in law look lk sammi. only..maybe not a lot. just 2. but..in one fac, one small fac of 200 ppl, and 2 look lk sammi. who's d one with the common face man..and, angie! i'll try to help u spot some hairy legs k! haha..okay. gonna be late ltr..damn.